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Ask your local webmistress

Is there anyone reading this who has a technical kind of job amongst a bunch of non-technical people? I am the Webmistress amongst a herd of buffoon public servants, and every time there is something vaguely icky about a machine, they come to me thinking that my web knowledge somehow extends to anything that goes bleep. It really shits me, because I really DO NOT BLOODY KNOW how to fix machines or whatnot. Don't they know I am not even really a web person, that I am just pretending? Just this week I have had asked of me:

  • Why is the printer smudging ink on my report?
  • Do you know how to do styles in Word?
  • How do you spell Adelaide?
  • Can you change my monitor around so it points up more?
  • How do I type a dollar sign on my Palm Pilot?
  • Hey Shauna, how come when I pulled this big chunk of plastic out of the printer, the printer won't go back together again?
  • What's another word for yours sincerely?
  • What's these red and green squiggles in my word document?
  • How do you refill the stapler?
  • Can you make me a diagram in Excel?
  • Can you fix my calculator?
  • Shauna Shauna Shauna! Why are my faxes coming out blank?
  • Can you show me how to make my mobile have those groovy songs when it rings?
  • Hey Shauna, are you a real webmistress? Then show me your whip and let's get busy!

One of the above is not true.

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.