"It's not easy, but then again, it's not brain surgery…"
I must have heard this phrase a dozen times since I started the New Job. I think it's my panic stricken look that makes my colleagues feel the need to reassure me that the tasks ahead are not too difficult, but at the same time, they are not so simple that they may as well have employed a trained monkey in my place.
But the Brain Surgery cliche doesn't rest well with me. What the hell do we know anyway? Brain surgery could actually be a stroll in a park. Can you actually speak from medical experience to use this as a basis of comparison? Unless you're Dr Joe Neurosurgeon, I wish you'd all come up with something I can relate to.
There are plenty of difficult tasks out there that would be perfect for this phrase. Now, if someone said to me, "Well it's a bit difficult, but it's not like trying to find a decent tasting tomato at Woolworths…", I would know for sure that I was in for a dirty bitch of a task, because everyone knows that Woolies has the most shithouse flavourless pasty looking excuses for tomatoes on the planet. Yes! Even the hydroponic ones.
So I've come up with a few subsitutes in accordance with the tasks I find personally to be as difficult as brain surgery is made out to be. To test them out, simply use your most scoffing tones and prefix with, "Oh come on! It's not like…" :
… going to a bookshop without buying anything
… sitting through an episode of Harry's Practice without wanting to kill Harry
… making a cake without licking the bowl
… keeping your pants on after a glass of wine
… unscrewing the lid off the spaghetti sauce jar
… the evil cross-trainer machine at the gym
… wearing matching socks
What do you find more difficult than brain surgery?