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The Sequel

Did you ever wonder what happened to Pocahontas after the movie? Did you care about the fate of The Little Mermaid after she moved out of the sea? Well, I didn't either. Not until I discovered that we had The Disney Channel, home of the Dodgy Sequel.

who'd a thunk it?

Yes, Ariel is a bored housewife and Pocahontas became the Secretary-General of the United Nations.

Coming Soon: Pinocchio Returns. After finally becoming a real boy, Pinocchio is still not satisified with his appearance and becomes addicted to plastic surgery. Poverty-stricken and barely recognisable, he sells his story "I Had Improper Relations With Geppetto… And The Little Cat Too" to the tabloids.

And also: The Lion King III – Lion In The Big City. Bored with being King of the Jungle, Simba travels to America in search of fame, fortune and young hot lion lady ass. Voiced by Eddie Murphy.

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


23 thoughts on “The Sequel

  1. They’ve actually made a Peter Pan II, for release in the cinemas, featuring Wendy’s daughter becoming a Lost Boy…

    But then, Toy Story 2 (technically Disney, even if it is Pixar) was better than the first one. Still, I guess that’s why it didn’t go straight to video.

  2. Practically all the Disney movies have dodgey shows of their own. Lion King was a good movie. The sequel was disappointing, and watching the Timon and Pumbaa series just really ruined it for me.

  3. Even seen the sequel to one of Jane Austen’s works, which features exciting things like pirates, and the heroine becoming a lesbian?

    I kid you not. I can’t remember if it’s a sequel to Emma or Pride and Prejudice.

  4. We ain’t got cable or satellite or digital in our house. We have to make our own entertainment. Fortunately, there’s Channel 5: the crap satellite channel for those who can’t afford satellite.

    (I also hope we’re allowed to do links in here. I’m sure I’ve seen them before.)

  5. Wow. Hi. I found this through the Bloggies… quite interesting. However much I would love to tell just how sick I am of watching cartoons, I am going to head to bed, cause here in my part of the States it’s 1 a.m. and I’m about to drop. :~)

  6. I’ve never seen it, but I whole-heartedly approve of LM2: Return to the Sea (see how I make it look cool? yeah…) Only because when it was released, the Disney stores filled with Ariel merchandise for which I am an utter whore. Oh yes.

  7. actually, i think there *was* a pretty woman 2. but it didn’t have julia roberts or richard gere in it, and (surprise, surprise) went straight to video. and now even most self-respecting video stores won’t stock it, because uhm…. well, it blows. it’s a sequel!

  8. I am nominating you for the bloggies thing… hope ya win!
    p.s. is there any chance of you having maybe an email list where i could get updates of the new and funny things you are saying???

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