Search

Hazard

Yesterday was a public holiday. Canberra Day, in which we give thanks for being Canberran.

THINGS TO LIKE ABOUT CANBERRA: Good restaurants. Easy public service jobs with stationary ripe for stealin’. Suburbs named after dead politicians. Nights so quiet you can always get a good 8 hours after a nice day in what is really a nice and highly livable town.

THINGS TO DISLIKE ABOUT CANBERRA: Crappy FM radio stations. The overly perky Channel Ten weather woman. Lack of rental properties. Lack of personality. Nights so quiet that you can’t sleep for your ticking brain, feeling restless and lost and cranky.

. . .

After a haircut, you can enjoy approximately 2.5 days of groovy hair until you finally have to admit that it’s shampoo time. During those 2.5 days you study your haircut with great intensity, trying to imprint on your brain the precise location of the part, the way she swept it in that direction just so, how high the spiky bits go, so you can recreate this masterpiece on your own. You take photos, draw diagrams, write down measurements. After waking up a ball of grease and Product, you hit the shower and then the hairdryer. And it ends up looking shithouse.

. . .

The Mothership visits our new abode:

MOTHERSHIP: Three flights of stairs? I don’t think I can do this very often.

SHAUNA: That’s the idea.

M: Don’t you go insane from everyone else’s noise?

S: I heard people having sex this morning.

M: Don’t you worry about being trapped on the third floor?

S: No.

M: I see you have a balcony. Has anyone tried to break in yet?

S: No.

M: You’ll be burgled if you don’t burn to death. How much rent are you paying?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestEmail this to someoneBuffer this page

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


34 thoughts on “Hazard

  1. A bit of a different style in this entry, I note.

    Not sure I’d want to hear the sounds of neighbours shagging. I remember it too well from university (hearing others shag, that is).

    But I must say, your mother’s being quite daft about the balcony.

    Oh, I’d love to have a balcony! Balcony’s also remind me of a Norwegian threat I heard of while at uni: “I’ll ruin your balcony!”

  2. Mothership: Three flights of stairs? How do you do it? I don’t think I can do this very often.
    Shauna: That’s the idea.

    Bahahaha! Although I was confused and looking for the connection between Canberra and haircuts.

    I will go to the museum with you. We should have dragged TC there.

  3. Oh the horror of senseless blogging! I was reduced to blogging about mishaps with my moustache 😉

    And yes, I’m using Shauny’s comments for their true purpose, to advertise my own blog! BwahahwhaAHAHwah. Hah. *cough*

  4. OH, how I know about “salon hair”.

    I leave with a shiny mane of swishing blondeness, only to wind up with an unruly mass of uncontrollable frizziness.

    Gah!

    Ans as for Canberra Day, isn’t it in honour of Mark’s birthday? :oP

  5. Hahah it’s not just my mum (the stairs). We lived in a flat before that had an upstairs and downstairs, and admittedly, the stairs were quite terrible. But they were her excuse for not wanting to come see me. ‘Oh, the stairs.. they are so steep’ (true.. but still!). Now we live in a house, that has stairs up to the front door. 🙂 Terrific view of town, but stairs all the same. She doesn’t bitch about them. There’s an incentive to coming inside. My kittens. 🙂

    Yes, I have the flu as well. I make no sense at the best of times. 🙂

  6. You know, Megaphones and expensive stereo systems are good in flats. 😉 And balconies are good for eating breakfast on of a lovely tweety morn, when the air is still cool and clean and the comforting, womblike insanity of the day has yet to envelop you.

  7. ooh, I’m coming to the museum too! me! me! …and how come you didn’t mention the ULTRA COOL intercom? That’s the best bit!

  8. I got the Gomez record! I got the Gomez record! It’s good! And a t-shirt with that impressionistic splodge on the back!

    Your mum’s a worrywort, eh?

  9. Catrin (the GF) lives in a flat in town, and she’s got a couple of excessively trendy japanese neighbours who love to shag at 3am. And the girl half of the couple is the loudest screamer I’ve ever heard in my life – although I think her partner is crap, he only seems to take a few minutes. I ought to run a book on it or something…

  10. Actually I think that well-done comments are a really skillful kind of blogvertisement.

    I think good Dollarshort comments have particular bang for the buck.

  11. canberra in a nutshell:

    . legalised prostitution
    . uncensored pr0n
    . relaxed cannabis laws
    . no traffic, lots of roundabouts
    . dodgy nightclubs
    . the wig & pen {beer}

    doesn’t that sound like an STA ad for the perfect male American college getaway? Imagine the boost in tourism.

  12. You *haven’t* been to The Museum of Erotica?!!?

    You aren’t Shauny, you’re an imposter, surely?!

  13. I wanna go to Canberra.
    I have no idea what you’re talking about with salon hair. Haven’t set foot in one in probably two years. I cut my own hair! So there! But, of course, of course, I do nothing to my hair except dye it every now and then, because it doesn’t LET me do anything else to it. I have hippie hair.

  14. Next time: fifth floor in a crack house, if you have those there.
    Also, I suspect that Monkey commented about the intercom because she’s been leaning on the button every five minutes. But not actually getting in. Stalker! 🙂

  15. Three flights of stairs means great buns in no time. Trust me on this. Been living on the third floor for five years now.

  16. Hang on – Canberra has a Museum of Erotica? Dammit! I lived there for just over a year and didn’t know about it! I feel cheated. 🙁

  17. Does every Australian city get its own special day, or just the capital, or just the large cities, or just the city with Shauny in it?

  18. Shauny Day is November 1. Everyone celebrates!

    I think Canberra is the only major city with a Day. It’s because we don’t have any big events (eg. Melbourne with the Melbourne Cup Day holiday) so we made up a day so we can have a long weekend.

  19. I think the idea of places getting their own day would ROCK. Personally, I can’t wait for Dapto Day. Free entry to the dogs for all!

  20. *sulks because despite moving from brisbane to london she *still* doesn’t get a day off for her city*

    canberra day. bah!

    i love your mothership entries

  21. I thought I had found the solution to the salon hair problem by going to a clean-shaven head, but now I have to re-shave my head more often than I ever shaved my legs to keep THEM smooth (which I stopped doing altogether a while ago). So now I don’t go the the salon at all, but half the time my head feels like sandpaper instead of porcelain, and you wouldn’t believe how many Lex Luthor comments I get.

    As far as keeping mothers away with stairs, I used to do that, but I’ve found something much more effective: I don’t allow smoking in my new house. Even when she comes over, she has to leave all the time.

  22. I grew up in the country and consiquently when my mother comes to visit me in Washington, DC I get the same lectures about safety and all that crap so I share your pain. 😉

  23. If we don’t get a labour day, then how come Sir got double time and a half three or so Mondays ago? Better not tell anyone 😀

    Endlessfo. Hmm. Does it have to be a .org? I’d have to change my webrings.

Comments are closed.