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Overcoming Writers Block

Woohoo! Is there anything the internet can't do? In just 60 seconds, my Ready-To-Go Eulogy For A Grandfather From A Young Grandchild™ will be emailled to me for the low cost of US $29.00!

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


15 thoughts on “Overcoming Writers Block

  1. “Order our Ready-to-Go, eulogies for a grandfather from an young grandchild. The eulogies are pre-written i.e. they will be emailed to you, automatically, within 60 seconds of our receiving your order. You will receive a selection of short, alternative eulogies. You may use one eulogy or mix-and-match them selecting the pieces that best describe the person about whom you are speaking. Suitable for use in a church, funeral home/parlor, crematorium or graveside.”

    Ready to Go! Mix and Match! Do it! How could ‘an young grandchild’ pass up such an offer?!

  2. “…but what I’m really looking for, Mr. Harris, is consoling words, uplifting things — I mean, when you send out as many C.V.s as me, it’s a bit of a racket, isn’t it? You’re ready to beat your head repeatedly into the desk. None of them recognize how overqualified you are, despite the Kierkagaard quotes. A philosopher with that many vowels in his name is bound to cause some attention. At least that’s what you’d hope a barely educated man would notice.

    “No, Harris, in my line of business — if it can be called that — you get bored. Sometimes flustered, never entirely cogent. So you stare directly into the sun, wondering if you have the guts to burn out your corneas. Before you know it, your nerves — no, not the optic one, the ones sending those messages of ‘Ouch, my ring finger is bleeding!’ to your brain, silly! — they’re causing your head to shift away. And you realize what a silly thing this sun-staring hobby is. But it’s something to do while you’re waiting for the phone to ring.

    “No, sir, I’m not looking for rigmarole, although a little of that is nice. Morale on the other hand — a tenuous little beast that, if terribly negative, sinks you into the morass. That’s the stuff I’d pay for in an instant. Yes, that’s right.

    “Yes, I’m willing to pay for it once I actually GET the job. Well, of course I can do the job. Just about anyone can. On Mondays, just call me Marilyn Chambers. You say you can guarantee dancing hamsters on the Internet for me? Not exactly my line, but I’ll send you a JPEG of me dressed in panties and a teddy. Is THAT the kind of currency you’d accept?

    “You’re a sick man, Mr. Harris. But if that’s what it takes to get some warm fuzzies, I’ll keep your fuzzy thing warm anyday of the week. With an economy this bad, a return to the barter system is inevitable. No wonder eBay is keen to gobble up PayPal.”

  3. Okay, let’s all wonder aloud again why the written capacity of today’s 13-and-under set is “u are far outt why don we hang outt + go 4 piza sumtiem whut do u think?”

    Great link, Shauny.

  4. Someone buy it and email it all around.

    I was also intrigued by the Christening Poems (set of 6) that were written to compliment the Christening Speeches (of course), but you could use them on their own as well.

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