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Peace

Down by the casino today, I’m slipping tripping around in new shoes. I wanted to summer-proof my feet so I stupidly slathered them with moisturizer this morning. They’re always playing some cheesy song over the PA to persuade gamblers to enter and leave their kids in the car. Today it’s Dont Worry Be Happy, the background singers sound so mournful and I can’t believe you’re gone. I am blocking out the last time I saw you with your face all grey and twisted with pain, I am thinking of you sitting at the kitchen bench digging out stray bits of lunch with a toothpick, cracking jokes, smelling like the shearing shed, being the guy I idolised all my life. It’s only been a few hours but I just want to tell you I miss you miss you miss you so much.

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


41 thoughts on “Peace

  1. So sorry for you and family. If it’s any consolation, after all is said and done, it never really feels like they are gone. After my grandmother died I kept expecting to get one of her usual lovely letters with the Pittman script. Take care.

  2. Dear Shauny, I am so sorry…

    The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.
    -w.h.auden

    I thought a small bit of a sad poem might help.

  3. I’m sorry, Shauny —

    Hope your mom and your gran are OK. And that you all get through the funeral in one piece, which is always tough.
    AD

  4. There never seems to be anything to say… other than you’d get a big ole squeeze and a tall margarita from me if I were in your neighborhood.

    “I have fought the good fight,
    I have finished the race,
    I have kept the faith.”

    2 Tim. 4:7

  5. Thinkabout it. Write about it. Talk about it. Eventually it becomes part of the fabric of who you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about the unique way you grieve, and try try not to block any part of it out as you’re working through it.

    That’s my two cents worth.

  6. Something entirely off subject: I didn’t know Dooce.com was back. I saw that you left her a comment and thought why didn’t anyone tell me she was back? However, Shauny has become my favorite blogger. 8)

  7. So sorry, Miss Shauny. I never found anything really helpful to tell the families of my patients who had died, and I’ve got nothing useful to tell you except that time passes and pain eases. And we’re all thinking about you…

  8. I haven’t left a comment before, though I’ve been reading for some time now.

    Just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

  9. when my grandmother died, i felt a huge sense of guilt. she had been very ill, but she got sick every winter. usually hospitalized for weeks ~at death’s door~ but always pulled through. we used to joke that she got sick so that she could get some rest, as she was always taking care of everyone but herself. this time, i didn’t go to see her. i was pregnant and it was a 6 hr drive so i didn’t go… she died christmas morning two years ago. i think of her standing in the kitchen frosting my angel food birthday cake with peanut butter frosting…

  10. nothing i can say will ease you pain, I know.. but you’re already doing the right thing, by remembering all the good stuff!

    cake is definitely the way to go!! :c)
    and stay out of that casino!!

  11. Chocolate cake might not make up for your loss but at least think about how happy it makes your grandmother, and how damn delicious it tastes!!

    Sorry for your loss. *hugs*

  12. You’re young, but growing up fast. All of us know from the moment we’re born, we’re dying. Most of us hide it from ourselves, “It’s something that happens to other people.” It WILL happen to you one day. LEARN from those you love lest their lives be wasted. APPRECIATE who you are, what you have and how you live your life, and, REMEMBER those you loved, for if they are alive in your thoughts they have never truly died. Sorry if this sounds heavy, but it’s at times like these we learn so much about who we really are and what is really important. It’s not the job, the car or house. It’s friends and mates, community and family.
    I’m sorry for your loss. XXX

  13. Hm… not sure if an outpouring of support from random strangers means much, but I’ll add mine as well. It’s a rough thing, the death of loced ones. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Everyone you know will be willing to help, whether you need to talk or be silent, or remember, or cry. Hold tight to all the happy beautiful times you remember.
    Echoing all those before me, I’m sorry for your loss.

  14. im so sorry shauna.. i know you loved poppy so much..
    i remember when chrissy died.. i was so angry cos we’re all inconsolable and teary . and outside ppl are walking the street, kids playing etc … i was so angry – i wanted to shout at them “dont you know chris is dead”!! grrrrrrr… but thats what happens baby.. the life goes on .. and the pain softens.. but even now 5 years on i still miss him loads and ive a grandson who doesnt have a dad… 19 year old and 6 months messing about with drugs … grrrrrrrr

    at least poppy had a longer ‘kick at the ball’ .. he sounded a great guy..i really wish id known him

    lotsa love n hugs

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