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Rabbish

image from www.dietgirl.orgOld Town, Tallinn

Still not firing on all cylinders here. Even The Mothership is asking on the phone why I’ve not updated. I am halfway though an entry about Spain but it is rabbish. I have so much to say but can’t get the words to work. Everything is getting to me, the weather and the weather and the vagueness of the future.

Today I tackled the workplace Christmas decorations. Nothing makes me crankier than a big pile of tangled tinsel. I’d lazily shoved everything into a box in the New Year thinking some poor sucker could deal with it in December. I never expected that sucker to be me. How did a four week temp job turn into fifteen months? I could hear The Mothership’s voice in my ear, “You should have done it properly in the first place!”

Top Five Mothership Phrases

  1. Use your brain!
  2. I’ll put a bomb under you!
  3. Are you wearing a bra?
  4. If you had brains you’d be dynamite!
  5. Did you LOOK?

If Kate Potter of South Australia is reading, please email or leave a comment! Kate sent Christmas cookie cutters off my Amazon wish list. Kate, you rule the school! Does anyone have any good cookie recipes?

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


21 thoughts on “Rabbish

  1. Several things:

    a) FIRST!

    b) my darling fabulous pregnant wife feisty is of the opinion that there are TWO kinds of looking. Whenever I’m searching frantically for, say, the apple corer, or some lime juice, or my left sock, I’ll ask her if she knows where it is.

    Her response is initially strikingly similar to The Mothership’s (“Did you LOOK?”), but, followed by an affirmative riposte, will be fortified by “Yes, but did you BOYLOOK?”.

    Boylooking, according to feisty, comprises of opening the intended receptacle wide (be it fridge, cupboard or TV cabinet), closing your eyes, reaching blindly inside and grabbing something. If the item grasped upon exit is not your intended culinary modification device (or sock), then that item is CLEARLY not present in the currently investigated receptacle.

    Personally, I think she’s mad.

    ps go look at pumpkin, now with rhyming goodness!

    http://pumpkindiary.blogspot.com

  2. You know, now whenever I’m looking for something, Mattay yells “Did you LOOK?” every frigging time. nggh! The mothership must be stopped.

  3. Okay, after months and months of checking in here and giggling quietly many times, I have now actually GUFFAWED out loud!

    You should go on a comedy tour of the American Midwest with the Mothership. You can spout off all the cool and funny things she says, and she can stand next to you and nod silently.

    Trevor

  4. One of my fav’s is: If your brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow the wax out of your ears!

  5. That’s scary. My mum says “Did you LOOK?” too.

    Though more often she says “have you lost something?” if I’m about the house not doing anything in particular, save walking from one room to another.

  6. You can tell when people didn’t grow up in countries where they had domestic terrorism.They’re the places where your mum can say

    “I’ll put a bomb under you.”

    My mum used to just shake her head and sigh, which was always a little crucifixion.

  7. I have heard the concept of a boy-look before now… usually rendered as bloke-look. Unfortunately I suffer from it too and I’m most definitely female. I can’t spot items which are above my eye level either, such as books placed on the top of the fridge, even if placed there by me.

    I think all mums have time-honoured catchphrases…

    “Yes, but have you looked _properly_?”
    “Better get on with it.”
    “Moosh moosh” or “Vite vite.”
    “You doughnut!” (this is a criticism of someone’s organisational skills and general intelligence, usually mine.)
    “It’s a bit _startling_, isn’t it?” (Refers to any form-fitting or vaguely low-cut clothing. Or for my brother there’s…)
    “You’d look even _more_ handsome if you had a shave.”

    How would we manage without them?

  8. I’m just thankful that my mom is out of her Super Religious ™ phase. Oh man.

    “Is that Christ-like?”
    “Would Jesus do that?”

    Those two lines fit in almost any teen-ager related situation. The funny thing is, she’s not all freaky, rolling in the aisles religious or anything.

  9. Good cookie recipes?

    There are NO BAD cookie recipes, so use anyone you like.

    And then bring them with you to the Scottish Blogmeet – Edinburgh 11th Dec… venue tbc.

  10. Men suffer from Fridge Blindness. Women suffer from Map Turn Upside-down-us.

    Hands up the ladies who can navigate in a car without having to turn the map around so it’s facing the way you’re driving?

    No-one?

    Didn’t think so.

  11. I can’t see anything relly obvious, either metaphorically or practically. But if you want someone to think of where all the things you can’t find are, or to see something at a great distance or amidst an enormous rubble, I’m your ‘gal! Someone told me this means I’m neurotic. Yeah, me and all those ‘blokes’!

  12. One of my mum’s best catchphrases was “don’t use the good scissors!”

    (She was paranoid about us using her SHARP dressmaking scissors on paper, which would make the blades blunt. Around our place, that was THE Crime Of The Century.)

  13. i can’t believe there are no cookie recipes yet! when i get home i’ll send you a recipe for the best gingerbread in the world. (yes, the WORLD). it’s called judy’s jingerbread. yum.

  14. ok so here’s my question (stolen from the beloved feisty)

    If there ARE such things as “good” scissors, then surely there exist “bad” scissors. If so, what are they? Do they cut in crooked lines? Maybe pinking shears are the bad scissors, and changed their name as a PR exercise in the late 1950s…..

  15. I think that a bad pair of scissors consists of dull blades. My mother did the same thing. She never let me use the good scissors, so I used them when she wasn’t home.

  16. I think that a bad pair of scissors consists of dull blades. My mother did the same thing. She never let me use the good scissors, so I used them when she wasn’t home.

  17. woops – i forgot to send that cookie recipe. well here it is now:
    Judy’s Jingerbread

    41/2 cups flour
    1 tsp salt
    1 tsp baking soda
    2 tsp cinammon
    1 tsp ginger
    1 tsp cloves
    1/2 tsp nutmeg
    1 cup butter
    1 cup sugar
    1 cup molasses
    1 egg
    1 tsp vanilla

    Beat butter, sugar, molasses, egg and vanilla. Then add all else except flour. Beat.
    Add flour 1/3 at a time, mixing thoroughly. Wrap and cill for four hours. Roll out and use your brand new cookie cutters to cut!
    Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 8 minutes at 350 F.

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