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Franklin Minted

I neglected to mention that as part of our Sorry You Had To Get Married Twice compensatory gifts, they also threw in this genuine replica of Elvis and Priscilla’s Marriage Certificate in a white vinyl presentation folder! I assume Elvis’ floating head was part of the State Seal of Nevada at the time.

But even that pales in comparison to the stunning gift we received from Rory and Jane – a genuine 1981 Charles and Diana commemorative coffee mug. We are having the velvet-lined display case custom built as we speak!

chuck and di

People keep asking, “How does it feel to be married?”. It still doesn’t feel real. I don’t think it will until I get my passport and Spouse Visa back from the Home Office, the official word that I am allowed to stay in the UK. Until then I feel like a fraud; I am Gerard Depardieu to Gareth’s Andie McDowell with a lower maintenance hairdo. I keep waiting for Immigration to knock down our door and scream, “SHAM MARRIAGE! SHAM MARRIAGE!” because the wedding was a bit too ridiculous to be real.

But it is real. Can you believe we pulled it off? Just three years ago I caught the bouquet and bitched all about it, but somehow I ended up hitched. Am I supposed to act different now? Should I bake some pies?

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


50 thoughts on “Franklin Minted

  1. thanks slack! 🙂 how ya been?

    btw people i apologise if you saw this entry before i edited to take out the bit about going to see tom jones as i just realised i already wrote about that before. GOING SENILE! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!

  2. s’alright poppet, we missed the tom jones moment. how jealous am I that you got the real commerorative mug action. an old grrlfriend of mine had those, ‘n’ we used to drink our english breakfast from them every morn-ironically o’course (embarrassed larfter)

  3. Notice how both Vegas AND Elvis impersonators are brought up immediately in the comments on the entry about almost catching the bouquet…your fate was sealed then and there!

    You’re in Scotland, you know that means you need to FRY the pies, none of that health-food baking nonsense.

    Love the Charles&Di mug, my parents still keep their earl grey teabags in a very beat-up C&D wedding memorial tin. Did anyone notice at the time how Beatles-esque Di’s hair was?

  4. hehe!…don’t forget to leave the [fried] pie on the window sill to cool, where it will be stolen by a passing vagrant while you are looking down, darning socks…..

  5. Pies. Mmmm yes, and be sure to tie that apron tight!
    LOVED your second wedding almost as much as your first…and you’ve actually got the t-shirt.
    Hey – I caught the bouquet two years and one month ago – and operating on your theory – I have only ten more single months to go! The fear. The fear.

  6. I had the same fears about getting married. We were just doing it so I could get a visa, but I was terrified I’d suddenly fall in love with the vacuum cleaner, which would be all wrong. *I* bring home the bacon. *He* cooks it.

    (It didn’t happen.)

    Congratulations!

  7. I started baking…….but its kinda fun too. amazing all the things you thought weren’t for you and turned out to be ok. 7 months after we got married though i do still say “My boyfriend….. er……husband”‘. You do get to finish arguments with great sentences like, “But YOU promised!” and “everything of yours is mine”, “No! everything of yours is MINE”, “But all I have is you” etc etc Hours and hours of fun!

  8. I am quoting here, alright I am actually cutting and pasting if you want to be pedantic, and I am quoting you yourself.

    “Imagine that, someone tolerating your crap enough to want to be with you for the rest of their life. I can’t imagine anyone feeling like that about me. It’s too bizarre.

    But if I did ever get married, I would exclude the following: prayers, flowergirls who won’t sit still, prawn cocktail where the prawns look like severed fingers, vol-au-vents, steak diane, fruit cake, John Farnham songs, the local Golf Club.”

    It looks like you got your dream wedding then Shauny, complete with the too high heels stilt walking phenomena.

    Much affection to you and “Garth”.
    Feel like I know you, I think a lot of your readership* do.

    Pol x

    * yes, you have a readership as well as a mothership.

  9. It took me 3 years to be able to comfortably say “my husband” when I was reffering to him. I think the first time I “just” said it in front of him he choked! But we’ve been together for so long before we got married.

    Truth is though that I never felt really “married” till I called him that!

    Strange greek woman I am…

  10. “How does it feel to be married”

    Completely, mind body and soul alteringly different. Suddenly I have a desire to wash the car every Sunday, EVEN IF IT DOESN’T NEED IT!

    Most bizarre.

    (OR – “the same as it was when were living in sin, fan-bloody-tastic”)

  11. “So how does it feel to be married?” I always said “Well pretty much the same as before, except with more appliances”.

  12. Oh Shaunna,

    I’ve been freakin great! Yours has been my favorite Vegas Wedding story of all time, and that’s the truth.

    Tell Gary I thought he looked right handsome in that skirt.

  13. Isn’t Gareth from Dundee? That means that you need to bake a pay for him coming home on a Friday night when he gives you the housekeeping out of his pie.

    ab

  14. i hope i get mugs like that when/if i get married.
    I wonder if anyone will make camilla and charles mugs? i wouldn’t mind a complete set.

  15. When he starts referring to you in front of your mates as some kind of third person suchas suggesting that his wife made the pies than you will mirror the reality ;-O

  16. That’s very cool..

    Hey, I was in Edinburgh on the 21st and 22nd (interviewing for research position).. I was thinking it’d be funny if I happened to run into you on the street and proceed to ask for an autograph.. .. has that ever happened? Accosted by random fan who recognises you, but you have no idea who they are.?

    Anyway, congratulations!

  17. hehe… cheers for all the comments everyone!

    ab – indeedy! i cannae wait for pie day!

    jen – that’s never happened, that would be incredibly bizarre… do bloggers ever get that sort of thing? how did the interview go?

  18. Yeah, the interview went well.. I got an offer, woohoo..

    I dunno, I was just entertaining the idea.. because I reckoned it’d be a funny thing.. completely bizarre, yes. I’m not really the sort to ask for autographs of random celebrities (however one might define that). But the amusement factor, I think, would warrant such an action from me, if I were to have happened upon you randomly on the streets of Edinburgh. I was staying across from the playhouse theatre.. and didn’t wander too far from there.. except for going to the Edinburgh and Hariot-Watt campuses. Oh and the waterfront as a random excursion.

    A day and a half does not do Edinburgh justice!

  19. well congrats jen! are you going to take up the offer? 😀

    ab – btw, how did you know Gareth was from Dundee? I don’t think I ever mentioned that. Well he was born there anyway. He doesn’t say ‘circle’ instead of roundabout. hehe.

  20. Because I am a scary stalker.. Not really – you did mention that Gareth was from Dundee and it stuck in my mind as I had the misfortune to go to uni there.

  21. Maybe so.. it’s very attractive indeed. I have some more interviews to get through before I decide though.

  22. I believe the baking of Pies is not specifically mentioned in the wedding vows, but referred to in the preamble, also known as the courtship where many promises are reffered to.
    Great post ( as always) well done. I am in Beijing, it is sunny and relatively smogless (recovering from Shangai – my liver is still vibrating from fear at the thought of alcohol) – I would blog it, but blogger is banned here – I thought while I was looking you up because the internet connection is so fing slow, that you might be banned as well. Then you could write Banned in China on your blog.

  23. just to say you are really talented and stay right as you are.
    I’ve been a fan for a while and maybe it’s just a bit of backlash from the awards if people are nasty.
    I’m living in Martinique a French island – and I used to be English! I get a lot of fun out of reading your blog- its way above the rest,
    Anne

  24. Frankly I have no earthly idea why anyone would be nasty, what could they possibly have found to be offended by? If it was strange fanatic Catholics being offended by your now-disappeared Good Friday post, worry not. I think your entries are full of good clean (well, I have a skewed definition of clean) fun and I admire your talent. Good for you Mrs Shaunna, don’t tlet them bring you down!

  25. Anne’s got it right. Wankers, disgruntled that Will Wheaton didn’t win anything and feeling the need to attack what looks to be a soft target. Send their IP addresses for smackdown.

  26. gimme the names of these d1ckheads and I’ll show them what I think of them….

    Shauny, I don’t know what those sad losers said, but to paraphrase another opinionated d1ck: “to weary of Shauny is to weary of life”. (I THINK that’s how he said it).

    You keep going, girly, you’re the best! You’re funny and insightful and soooo easy to relate to. You wouldn’t have a following of a few hundred(? thousand?) for a number of years now, if you didn’t hit the spot.

    And I’m REALLY REALLY sorry I missed the Good Friday entry!

  27. Sage wisdom from my mother – people who do / say things like that are only doing it to make themselves feel better. IGNORE THEM and keep up your fab, honest and easy to relate to style. I am a long time reader (lurker) and had to tell you now your blog is fab!!!!! Congrats on your wedding and all the best 🙂

  28. whoa.

    you won an award?

    you beat Wil Wheaton by winning said award?

    you must have a fan base of at least a few thousand by now. sheesh, the nudey pix alone would do it. then there’s the google that brought me here—and bound to attract other such malcontents: “odd images”

    you got married. woot!

    you married a Scotsman. again, woot! (so did my wee wifey!)

    you have readers/fans/edinburgh-visiting-stalkers from all over the planet.

    you are global.

    you are waaaaaaaaay more accessible than Wilwheaton. his gobbldeygook just loses me after fourteen seconds. the shauna literate stylings herein keep me eyes locked on da screen.

    you are shauna and…

    you ROCK.

  29. I don’t know who’s been complaining, but ignore them! Your wedding stories were awesome. Some people are just haters. Best of luck to you and your lovely new husband.

  30. How dare those “peabrained, nothing better to do with their time, where’s their blog, bet it’s not as good as yours” specimens complain.

    Not to put pressure on, but I check your blog daily for updates. It’s interesting and enjoyable reading. Your tales always put a smile on my face and a giggle in my mouth!

  31. Shauna,

    I love your blog, have lurked for ages.
    Huge congratulations to you both, your wedding story was just awesome, and apt.

    If people don’t like your site they should just leave – what is the point in being offensive and nasty? Life is way too short!

    Leigh

  32. there is always some Knut out there willing to be pointlessly cruel.

    Console yourself with the tought that the cruelty usually leads to their lives potential avenues slamming in their faces, and ultimately to a slow lingering death that is completely ignored by the resat of the world.

    and they probably have really small penises, and that includes the girls.

    pol x

  33. People said mean things?? Why?! I think your blog is awesome! You’re witty, funny and always interesting! I always finish reading your latest entry with a smile on my face : )

  34. they’re idiots. if they don’t like you or your blog…you wonder why they bother with reading it. no lives perhaps?

  35. Well I for one think your blog is fantastic, it’s always a joy to read and often makes me laugh! It’s one of the few blogs I visit regularly, and I love reading your archives. Yaa boo sucks to thoses with no sense of humour – your blog rocks!

  36. I want to comment on the “I want to complain” post by saying that I detest any naysayers, detractors, ninnies, etc. that would deride perhaps my favorite blog read ever. I’m only envious of your particular knack for charming and witty elucidation of your all too colorful corner of the universe. So bah I say! Bah to the humbuggers!

  37. thanks very much!

    feeling embarrassed for being oversensitive IN PUBLIC but just needed to get it out. eeeeek. thanks!

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