GARETH'S DAD: Do you know what I paid for a haircut the other day? Eight pounds! Eight pounds for a haircut. What do you pay for a haircut, Gareth?
GARETH: I haven't paid for a haircut for about ten years. I wish I could pay eight pounds for a haircut.
D: Well if you grew your hair back you could go get it cut!
G: Dad, I don't have any hair to grow back.
D: Yes you have! If you just stopped shaving it all the time, you could get a proper haircut!
G: But I haven't got any hair left!
GARETH'S MUM: He hasn't got any hair left!
D: Yes he has! He's got plenty of hair.
M: He doesn't have any hair on top!
D: Yes he does, he just shaves it all off!
M: You're dreaming. I'm telling you, he hasn't had hair on top for years!
G: Yeah, thanks Mum.