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My Brilliant Career

Actual email received at work today:

Good morning

With regards to the new photocopier that has been installed on the 1st floor, there will be training provided for this on Tuesday 7 February at 1.30, and should last approximately 2 hours. Thank you.

!!!

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


28 thoughts on “My Brilliant Career

  1. Must be a Scottish thing; we had photocopier training when the swanky colour one was installed. Usually involves some poor teenager from the photocopier company teaching a store cupboard full of sniggering civil servants how to ‘double-side’.

    Enjoy!

  2. Heh, when we got a new photocopier at work, I asked the sales guy a few questions and he basicly explained it all in less than 10 mins and I just explained it to other (but we have a small office). It is too funny to think you will attend a 2 hour training session on using a photocopier! I bet they didnt train you 2 hours on it when you first started there?

  3. TWO HOURS?

    We only got 45 minutes for the big multi-thousand-dollar digital imaging device we got in our lab, then I was put in charge of making sure nobody broke it. Eeeep.

  4. wow, I had no idea that you worked in my office!! I had 8 hours of training this week, on a piece of software that I don’t have installed on my own machine yet. I’ll likely forget it all before the installation happens!! No wonder we can’t get anything done huh??

  5. 10 minutes to explain the Operation,
    and the rest to explain the Occupational Health and Safety legislation and the regulations required for its use, I would imagine.

    Nothing like the good old OHS.

    Loved the Motorcross post btw.

  6. The photocopier was deemed an uneccessary extravagance, where I work. We have to use the fax machine as a copier.

    Consider yourself lucky! 🙂

  7. 2 hours? Lordy you poor bast**d. Sounds familiar though. We had an email on Friday that said “since June the new computer system [installed on maybe, what, 450 PCs?] has had 1300 documents uploaded onto it and we are worried about exceeing our capacity” or words to that effect. In other words, an organisation with thousands of employees is worried because documents THAT I COULD FIT ON A MOBILE PHONE have nearly overwhelmed the system. Will heads roll? Probably not as I work for a local council.

  8. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE PHOTOCOPIER!!

    These things can kill. They sense fear.

    They may call it training, but it’s a carefully guided introduction between two living beings….

    Approach slowly, bow deeply, pat it softly on the display unit and whisper soothing noises in its document feeder tray.

    You better make nice with the monster, young lady!

    I know what can happen if you don’t.

    One day I’ll send you a photo of the horribly disfigured victim.

  9. hey i know [NAME OF SHAUNA’S EMPLOYER REMOVED BY SHAUNA!]

    someone will be making a killing on a ‘buffet lunch’ that they got some friend or family member to quote an exhorbitant price for… and you get pasta, cold pizza and sandwiches with fillings nobody likes – eggy ones and salmon etc…

    then you’ll get a swanky printed agenda summat like this :

    * intro to photocopy 101 (10 mins – ie push green button)
    * paper jam removal (60 mins)
    * get inky bits off fingers (20 mins) well all frikin day really!
    * how to phone engineer for support (15mins)
    * buffet (30 mins – more if outside for fag)

    how much does that add up to?? hmmm … phew .. sure you got enough time to do this all in 2 hours?

    might as well go home after your training course …. with your manual they supplied to read up on of course

  10. When my bosses decided to invest in a used photocopier, I responsible for making sure it worked right. After a relentless paper jam, upon which I had exhausted all my layperson problem-solving abilities, the copier repair dude dismantled it to find a bee inside. A bee. Sadly, it was dead by the time we found it.

    Hope your photocopier is bee-free.

  11. a BEE!?! That is gold, Meredith. Gold!

    bobby – sounds just like our training courses. except no sandwiches. mwahaha. btw, don’t write the name of my workplace in a comment! we don’t want to encourage stalkers. mwahaha 😛

  12. Peg said: I had 8 hours of training this week, on a piece of software that I don’t have installed on my own machine yet.

    Love that corporate mindset.

    I once got sent to an intro-to-the-internet course when I’d been online for a couple of years already. It took one fucking hour to do the typing an URL into the URL bar lesson. Mind you, there was one person who still didn’t get it.

  13. two hours? geez.
    When we got our new photocopier you only learnt by word of mouth or pestering the person in front of you in the line. In fact none of us knew we needed a special code until we got to the copier and realised it wouldn’t work without it!

  14. Funny how everyone presumes it’s training for YOU not for the copier… surely it needs to get to know your habits as well.

    If that’s the case the real question is, is two hours enough??

  15. Hi Shauna! Thought I’d also stop by and see what life is like on your side of the world 🙂
    Are you actually going to attend the above mentioned tutorial?

    Very cool blog you’ve got over here, love the pics and defintely love the dog !

  16. P/S Just read the rest of this page… totally love your nutella story. I remember those lil foil packs of nutty, chocolatey goodness as well and would also like to someday take a bath in a vat of nutella. Well if cleopatra bathed in milk …

    Also cool how Aussie food has gotten more cosmopolitan, even at the motor track 😉 Love the seinfeld pic with the hair debate etc.

  17. because I am so bored today I just read a big fat chunk of old posts….
    that “Onions of Doom” made me roar and cackle out loud….
    now I really must be off to do something useful…

    devil’s vegetable..ha!

  18. about the 2 hr. training for copier. I worked for the people who invented most of the tech of today. When I wanted a part-time job, I would say I KNOW the machine, etc. Then, I would watch someone operate it. I have ADD and directions are hard to read. However, I ended up writing manuals for this stuff after no one could understand the directions! I’m retired now, just buying stock in the companies I used to work for. Jo in Texas

  19. 2 hours? So of course it covers “how to photocopy your bum in 40 different ways” and maybe they’ve also included ‘sex and the photocopier’ so that everyone is prepared for the next office party.

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