What's New Pussycat turns six this week. What keeps a blog alive for so long, aside from sporadic updates and stale design?
Comments, that's what. While you current folks are always golden, the real madness comes from random Google visitors and their comments on ancient posts. Years after an entry has passed its relevancy, people stumble in, skim read, then spout off. Some commenters seek advice. Some commenters give advice. Some just want you to know that they vehemently disagree with your opinion of half a decade ago.
Sadly I had to kill off this font of entertainment. While Movable Type has excellent spam fighting tools these days, and my thousands of comment spams were banished to a Junk folder, the extreme load on the server drained my bandwidth. So I closed comments on old entries.
In memory of my beloved comment-come-latelys, here's a few choice highlights.
The Funeral Business – September 2001
The Mothership went through a brief crackpot phase of coming up with small business ideas to help fund her retirement. First she was going to start a mobile adult toy store, a Bookmobile-style vehicle bringing vibrators and ben wa balls to deprived citizens of remote areas of New South Wales. The next brainwave was to start a funeral business run entirely by women as they are apparently more compassionate. The result – fifteen commenters over four years, seeking or offering advice on how to get the show on the road.
Hi there, my name is xeng, i am interested in building a funeral home business for the hmong community. However, i don't know much about what to do, how to start, and what to expect. If you know, and would like to share, it would be a pleasure. Thank You, Xeng Yang
Posted by XENG YANG on March 30, 2003
Hello, Death – October 2001
Australian children of the 80s will remember student news show Behind The News. BTN was universally loathed as we had to pay attention and do worksheets afterwards. One of my classmates hated presenter Richard Morecroft so much that she stood on a chair, hurled pencils at the screen and screamed, "I HATE YOU RICHARD MORECROFT AND I WANT YOU TO DIE!".
She must not have wanted it enough, for he went on to present the ABC news and all sorts of wildlife documentaries. In what is probably my most cherished WNP comment ever, the man himself wandered in a few years later. Don't try and tell me it's not the real Richard Morecroft. So polite, so articulate, so balanced!
I very much enjoyed reading this piece… really – I did. I also really used to enjoy working on BTN, but I had no idea of the pain it caused Melissa and her classmates!
Posted by Richard Morecroft on May 26, 2004
Cats Stuck Up Trees – May 2001
Inane entry about seeing a local TV anchor at the gym sparks a dozen folk asking for advice on how to get their moggie down. The last comment was particularly heart-wrenching:
I see plenty cries (or is that meows) for help, but no answers!? My cat is stuck up a 25 metre gum … He's only a kitten and the horrid dog next door chased him up there – the tree is in the neighbour's garden!!!!!!!!! What happened to the cats that feature on this site? Any stories of hope?????? Do they come down????
Posted by Judy on September 2, 2005
Gene Simmons – April 2001
I posted a photo of my dog Harry with his tongue hanging out like the KISS bassman. Two years later came this classic comment:
I am looking for a talent agent to help me exploit my talent and I meet peter [Criss, KISS drummer] when he was up in tahoe in 93 I need someone to help me find a realband that is career motivated and has what it takes to go to the top! thanks Gene for your time and consideration
Mark /Bam Bam
Posted by Mark Steffens/Drummer on June 24, 2003
Get Skinny With Portia – February 2002
I had a dream in which slender actress Portia di Rossi launched a cookbook of the above title. I even dreamed the back cover blurb: Hello. I'm Portia de Rossi. It has always been my aim in life to weigh as little as humanly possible. Let this be your mission too. Put down your chocolate bars and get cooking with me.
For years there was a steady trickle of teen visitors begging Portia for her diet secrets. Many of them are quite troubling and sad, but I liked this one:
HEY BABES!!! IF YOU ARE NOT PERFECT IT DOESENT MATTER!!!!!! LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE AND EVERY TIME U EAT SOMTHING NAUGHTY, BE HAPPY, IF U ARE NOT HAPPY YOUR BODY WONT BE HAPPY!!!!! NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!!!!!
Rock on,
Tanya
And then last year this guy lost it:
Do you people realize that there is no such book as "Get Skinny With Portia"?? This story is just a joke and if you had even a minute semblance of a brain you might understand it. I am so sick of ignorance and just well, plain stupidity. Please learn how to spell too you moronic, self-absorbed, media-obsessed dumb-asses…
Posted by ben dover on July 23, 2005
Everybody Hates Raymond – August 2002
Although my petition to outlaw Everybody Loves Raymond failed miserably despite 91 passionate supporters, the sheer venom directed at the show raged on:
Everyone hates ramen sucks. I'm so hatefull of the show that I just did a search on the internet which brought me to this site. I searched for "everyone loves raymond sucks"…
The first time I watched it I saw this raymond guy acting like a little boy to who seemed to be his mother, by the way she was talking to him. After a while I figured out that was his wife. Maybe it's a Oedipus complex that interests some people in this show?? that's my only guess.
Posted by RELON on December 28, 2003
And sometimes, not.
I LOVE Everyone loves raymond and I think its a really good show for many people that have a borening life like me. I laugh and I cry and enjoy everyone on the show expecially raymond and his brother. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. AMERY WISCONSIN LOVES YOU
Posted by A on November 5, 2004.
Soul Shite – November 2000
Legendary Australian rocker Jimmy Barnes will be pleased that while I slagged off his cheesy album of soul covers, a devoted fan came to his defence, albeit four years too late. This ranks high amongst my all-time favourite comments because you can just hear the flannel shirt and Victoria Bitterness in his words:
shit mate I must have missed your #1 record last time I was at the record shop…… Then I look further down and see that you are from Canberra, and that explains it all. Wanker…
Posted by juddster on August 6, 2004
WNP's 6th Birthday is hereby dedicated to commenters both past and present, young and old, sane and clearly otherwise. Thank you all!
Very funny post. I don’t know if I’ll keep it up that long (who knows what will come next?) but you’re a fine example to aspire to.
Congratulations.
What classic comments!! Some of them you read and want to stand up and clap them, the others you just shake your head and whisper “get a life buddy!!!”
Keep up the fabulous writing on WNP – I always love the giggle I get. Happy Blogging Annivesary !!!
NB
ah, happy sixth! i’ll make you a scoubidou to celebrate (they’re those twisty key ring things on my flickr, I can make one with wnp colours and everything!).
Happy Sixth! Those comments are hilarious – you have now inspired me to go to random peoples blogs and blog nonsense in their archives *mwahahahahaha!*
happy birthday wnp!
Lifting a glass to 6 more years. Cheers, Shauny!
I’m fairly new to WNP, but I have been going over the archives to see what I have missed over the last few years.
I came across the Richard Morecroft comment and nearly wet myself laughing. That must be the real RM. Such a dignified response.
And as for the KISS wannabe drummer… sad is the word that springs to mind.
I love all your old comments about Canberra (I’m a Belconnen boy myself), they are bang on the money.
Thanks for the blog. It really brightens my day.
Happy 6th Birthday, WNP!
COOL!!!! I was just going through your archives, and I was also at the ACO concert that had Neil Finn and Leunig.
That was a very strange concert. One of the last songs that Neil sung was truly beatiful though.
Thanks for all the laughs!! Happy Birthday WNP!
Happy birthday WNP! Maybe it’s time for another facelift?
I miss the orange kitty…
The BTN thing reminded me of having to sit around singing along with the radio with the Let’s Sing books at school.
Do you remember the Gypsy Rover, Dr Knickerbocker and other great hits of primary school?
Happy Birthday to my favourite blogger! I’d love to see what some of the Search phrases are that lead people here haha
Congratulations and happy birthday! You are such an amazing writer – I’m selfishly hoping for six more years of WNP.
Happy blogday! Six years… wow…
(Strange to think I’ve been reading for half of that time… more or less – can’t remember when I sneaked over from DG. Probably by Googling “Shauna” and “moving to Scotland”. You know, some clever tactic like that.)
You always get the liveliest comments… Maybe that’s how you know you’ve arrived as a blogger? Weirdos don’t bother commenting if you’re a nonentity!
Yaeh mate!
Whatareya?
Big ups for the Juddster.
You are aware that aussie rocker Jimmy Barnes is actually Scottish? Same goes for Colin Hay of Men At Work. Colin is from Saltcoats whiole Barnes is from Glasgow, which as a Glaswegian myself I can only apologise for.
Pol x
Happy blogversary Shauny! Congrats on 6 ears of blogging longevity and excellence.
(Think I’ll leave the ears typo in honour of comment nutters.)
See, I just thought how witty I’d be and write “happy blogerversary, Shauny” and even wondered how I’d spell it, but Spike’s coined it first!
Keep truckin, LOVE the Richard Morecroft comment, and concur it must be he. Unlike you kids up in Canberra, I always thought Richard was a big spunk, and loved it when he featured (on screen, alas, not the live RM) in our Media Studies classes!
Oh. My. God. I had forgotten about Richard Morecroft! Haven’t laughed so much in ages! Congrats on the blog birthday!
Happy bloggyversary, Shauny! Here’s to six more years of delightful wonderful entertaining hoorayery!
happy 6th blogday, shauny. you have been brightening our lives for the last 6 years. may you continue to flourish in bonny?? scotland.
Hi Shauny. Well done on six years!!
I just had another book of poems released.
Goodness! These posts are coming so frequently I don’t know what to do with myself!
I’m so sad that I only discovered you about two years ago, but your archives make for great late night procrastinating. Well done on 6 years!
What is there to add? You’re really funny and a wonderful read, as everyone keeps telling you. Many happy blogging returns from one of your more mature (I’m not admitting to “old” quite yet) commenters.
Happy Blogiversary Shauny. Love the Jimmy Barnes comment, but my favourite must be get skinny with portia lol.
How DARE you use the comments by these wonderful and articulate people as fodder for your attempt at elitist humour!
Bah! Bah I say!
Happy Blogversary!
Used to watch Richard Morecroft v-e-r-y carefully on the news. I was looking for flying foxes in his shirt. No word of a lie.
He wrote a book called Raising Archie about foster-parenting flying foxes and said he wore them inside his shirt when he was newsreading. I swear I saw one move once.
Loved this post! Thanks for sharing those gems before they dissapeared into cyber space. Maybe you should quit your day job and be a full time Blog entertainer!
Richard Morecroft upsets me.
Childhood trauma.
While the rest of the world was watching Home & Away… my family were watching the freakin’ 7o’clock news on the ABC.
Happy Birthdaaaaaaaaay!
happy birthday WNP! may there be many more years of pussycat goodness to come. rock on!
I think I tried to comment on a really old entry a few months ago (November?) when I was going through your archives… and of course, it didn’t work. I recently found a comment that had been posted on my site a few years ago that I never caught on an even older entry (2002?) that kind of wigged me out.
Congrats on 6 years!
ONWARDS!
Long live WNP! Happy birthday and many many more! The blogosphere just wouldn’t be right without you, Shauny!
And long live Richard Morecroft. I once had a dream that he came to a party at my house and knew how to make excellent cocktails! Hehehe!
HB WNP! And many more.
I am very sad that the petition attempt for “Everybody Loves Raymond” has failed.
I guess there are some more important issues that people are thinking about.
In honour of this grand occasion, I present this little tidbit…
Officials in Sydney, Australia will soon begin piping Barry Manilow’s music over loudspeakers in local parks to try to get souped-up car fans from disturbing the peace.
Long live the pussycat.
Happy Birthday WNP!!
All my congrats to you on your longevity. And your design may not be stale, it may just be stout and hardy.
I hated watching BTN too – not for Richard, but because of the worksheets I knew were coming after the teacher had switched off the telly. Can’t believe he actually commented! Thrill!
lol @ ben dover!
happy birthday wnp
Happy 6th birthday WNP! I hope their are many years of your blogerty blog to come!
Congratulations on your six years of blogging. I’ve nearly wet myself laughing more than once. And I loved the Richard Morecroft thing — I’d forgotten all about BTN. We had to suffer it in Bathurst too.
Six whole years! Time flies when you’re having fun.
Keep up the excellent writing, Shauny, you’re the best.
Congratulations!!