There was a guy leaned over someone's desk, pointing at graphs on the computer screen as I was sailing past to make the seventeenth cup of tea for the day. My right hand twitched automatically and raised slightly. I was just about to swing it towards his butt when I remembered where I was.
Would this stand up in court? It wasn't sexual harassment yer honour, I just saw a denim-clad backside and next thing you know I'd slapped it.
Because that's what I mindlessly do every time I walk past Gareth, whether he's doing the dishes or trying to choose a beer at the corner shop. I saw this particular butt and forgot to put it in context. Sometimes you forget where you are. Like when you've eating something really fabulous in a restaurant and you forget you're in a restaurant and pick up the plate and almost lick up the last scraps. Or like when The Mothership was my teacher in Year Two and I couldn't stop blurting out "Mum" instead of "Ms Marsh".
It's easy to get confused. It's hard to stay in the here and now.
I sniff my children. I really really don’t want to do that to anyone else’s offspring by accident!
I once called my math teacher Dad in highschool, and he was not my dad. That was awkward for everyone involved, I think.
Apologies for the random – but did your mum get many colgate / chalk soaking in ink jokes in the 70s?
I have the same pet name for my partner and all of the cats, which sometimes has regrettable consequences.
This made me laugh out loud because I’ve done the same exact thing! I swear, I can’t figure out what it is – but I can’t let hubs walk past me without reaching out to smack him! and there are times when I’m not paying attention in real life and almost do it to someone else…not cool.
I once rubbed the lower back of my husband’s friend (though he was just my boyfriend at the time) because I wasn’t paying attention to who I was actually standing next to.
I once walked up behind my father in law and put my arms around him, thinking it was my husband.
…. very awkward
Laura, indeed she did… tuff teef mrs marsh, etc etc etc
Bwahaha and how funny are the comments! I have said and done a many inappropriate things at work and now that just figure I’m a bit “weird”. Clearly not in the “here and now” when at work LOL and very much wanting to be elsewhere.
Ahhh Loth… “I sniff my children”… genuine LOL
My uncle saw his friend browsing in a department store, crept up behind her and tickled her under the armpits making that high-pitched I’m-tickling-you noise – you know, “diga-diga-diga-dig!”
When the woman turned round it was someone else entirely.
Hmmm….brings back memories of when I did a cheeky double-handed ass-grab, supposedly to my boyfriend at the time up the back of a shop, only for a perfect stranger to turn around and look at me horrified…there’s really no way to recover from that other than a swift exit!