The day of the rouge snoz has arrived and so has Shaggy Blog Stories! The book is stuffed with 100 wacky tales from across the British blogland, how can you go wrong? There's even a contribution from me, although if you were hanging around here in 2004 you may well have read it before. But why not buy it anyway; there's 99 other stories that should keep you amused for hours. Most importantly you'll be raising funds for Comic Relief, woohoo!
Have you met the Friends for Life hounds? From the website: "Friends for Life recognises and celebrates the difference that dogs can make to their owners lives, be it through bravery, support or companionship." There's a video of the shortlisted doggies and I'm begging ye to watch it! It's only five minutes; much shorter than a MotoGP race. The must-see bit is at 4:10 where you will meet nine-year-old Nye Thomas. He fell thirty feet into a river and broke both his arms, but was rescued by his trusty dog Bud. Gareth and I have watched Nye about 25 times now. His accent makes me bust a gut every time, and he has an hilarious turn of phrase.
"When Bud rescued me I was like… ohhh, flip. This is one strong dog. I was just amazed. I mean, how is he pulling me up like? I'm nine, and he's only eight! If Bud wasn't there I might be in heaven, I might be in hell. I don't where I might be. I might be in a hostebal."
. . . Are you a UK blogger? Are you funny? Are you feeling charitable? Mike at Troubled Diva came up with a great idea for Comic Relief's Red Nose Day – he's putting together a book in a week, full of funny Britblogger tales called Shaggy Blog Stories. You can submit your most amusing blog entry if you're a Brit in Britain, a Brit overseas, or even one of those pesky Almost-Permanent-Residents who are currently tearing their flat apart looking for no less than twenty pieces of evidence proving to the pedantic Home Office bastards that their marriage is not a sham. Mike's mission to pull off this "collaborative blog-stunt" in just seven days. It will be printed on lulu.com and all money raised by the sales (minus the lulu fees) will go to Comic Relief. More details here!
Dear comrades, I'm taking a wee break from WNP. And that's wee as in small and brief. I mean, I'm not bursting for the loo or anything. Back in a jiffy!
It is just too bloody easy to get out of a blogging rhythm, don't you think? As Homer Simpson says, "Never to do today what you can put off until tomorrow." I've been busy Thinking Thin on over yonder but now I've got to get back to the Cat. In the meantime, how the hell are you doing?
It is wild and windy oot there, folks. If you're heading into Edinburgh for the Hogmanay celebrations, good luck!
We're going to a party around the corner but I am fighting the urge to just stay in the bathrobe and read a book.
How was your 2006? Mine was a goodun and I'm looking forward to working hard and moving forward in 2007. Happy new year, folks!
To everyone back home, I really miss youse all.
This week in Blogland feels dead, like the non-ratings summer period you get on Australian telly where it's all Macgyver and M*A*S*H repeats. So while it is quiet I shall write about my favourite things from 2006. And there's nothing you can do to stop me!
First up: BLOGS.
There are so many sailors on the sea of blogs these days, how does one pluck a few favourites out of the water? I like a blogger with a strong voice and a sense of humour. I like reading about lives far removed from my own, or people who are opinionated where I am fluffy, or people who are good at things at which I am crap. I like bloggers who are far more intelligent than me, when I'm too scared to leave comments so just sit in awed silence. And sometimes most of all, I like to make the first cuppa of the day then sip and read about people cooking good things, while I wonder how long it is until I can reasonably eat my lunch.
Here's a few of my favourites this year, many of which were new. By new I don't necessarily mean new new. Just new to me, as I always seem to "discover" blogs miles after everyone else has.
The last blog is by writer Jenny Diski and among the gold found while stalking her archives was this:
"I am a woman of no substance. I've always said so, but people choose to believe that it's some charming conceit of mine. It's true that the brighter you shine the light on the grim truth, the more people laugh gaily and exclaim how witty, indeed how wonderful, you are. The more you explain that you aren't, that you are speaking the simple unedifying truth, the more they shake their heads in admiration."
Finally, here are Gareth's Top Blogs of 2006, as deduced by peeking at his laptop screen throughout the year. First he scans my blogs for typos and amusing comments, then maybe he'll see which one of us has the most friends on stinking MySpace, then sometimes he checks for fresh bitter and twistedness on True Wife Confessions and asks, "Is this one yours? Is this one yours!?".
And then he visits his favourite blogs:
Impeccable taste!
For the past three years November has been the month where I just sulked beneath the doona/duvet/comforter (choose your language!) and waited for Christmas to arrive, because at least then the cold and dark were offset by parties and presents. But this year I am determined to not be a whinging git and keep myself busy. Among my Acts of Busy-ness will be NaNoWriMo, the 50,000 word Quantity Not Quality novel-writing thingo. I'm doing it in an unofficial capacity, since I've already started and that is against the rules. But I like writing under pressure and it will be good to churn some words out for the aforementioned Dietgirl draft. Let us hope it is more successful than my 2001 NaNo effort, Not The Greatest Story Ever Told. Just to add to the insanity, I signed up for Ms Fussy's NaBloPoMo thingy, in which you have to write a blog entry every day in November. Considering I have averaged about four entries per month this year, it will be fun to force myself to write fast and furious. It will hardly be Blogging Gold but it's about time I stopped angsting and arseing about with those dozen half-done entries and spewed out some new shit. So be sure to check back daily and nag me if it looks like I'm slacking off. Huzzah!
I'm going away for a couple of days so I just wanted get in early and say a very happy birthday to my wee brother James, who turns 18 on Sunday. I am sure it was only yesterday he was a screaming baby but now he's over six feet tall and almost officially adult. He has the most compelling MySpace page ever, even though it makes me feel like I am seven hundred years old. It contains words like "crew" and "bitches" and never fails to crack me up. Happy Birthday tiger. You are a legend. 
. . . Can I ask a question for an Aussies out there? Where do you do your online shopping these days? For books, music, or groovy presents in general. I am out of touch but I'd like to know where I can get the goods for folks back home. And if you're not Australian… hmmm… a question for you so no one feels left out. Ummm. What colour are your undies today? What are you doing on the weekend? Oooh, two questions!
So there were a few hundred carefully worded words sitting in my Gmail Drafts folder and what did I just do? I hit the Discard Draft button instead of the Save button and didn't realise until I'd clicked onto some other emails, making it far too late to Undo. Is there any shittier feeling than hours of precious drivel zapping off into the ether? All that rage and nowhere to direct it because it's your own stinking fault. Off to bed. Try again tomorrow.
After all these years I finally figured something out yesterday. Why lever-arch folders have those big holes in the spine. It's so you can hook your finger inside and easily remove them from the shelf! What ingenuity! And all this time I thought it was a wee porthole for the papers to peep out of. Sadly, this has been the state of my brain this week. Almost as profound as the day I discovered the marvellous invention that is the staple remover. Apologies for all the waffle and obituaries lately. I shall reboot brain and post properly on the weekend.
