I was wandering around Supabarn (Canberra's most ridiculously named supermarket. I always picture some lyrca-clad caped crusader stacking the shelves) last night without an aim, as is my usual manner. I was looking for the dog food, when I spied these pasty pale greenish things in the meat section, nestled between the kangaroo steaks and a huge skinned rabbit. "Crocodile Uppers", said the label.

Crocodile Uppers? Upper what, pray tell? Upper tail? Upper back? Upper groin? Upper fearsome jaws of death?

One of my colleague's Mum runs the deli at Supabarn (it's a small town) and says such delicacies are very popular with the discerning public servant wanker crowd. They also snap up the emu proscuitto and the kangaroo kebabs. What's next? Seared koala steaks? Platypus l'orange? Urgh.