Is it a crime to desire a job with less accountability? I'm beginning to think I have no ambition at all. I have no desire to learn anything more about this internet shit. I don't want to become the resident usability accessibility impossibility expert or whatever crap it was I was just asked to become, I don't know because I tuned out after the first half an hour. Some parts of the job I could do with my eyes closed, other parts baffle and terrify me.
The one constant is the feeling that this is not for me. But what is for me? I don't bloody know! I feel like I have the capacity to be good at something, but I have no idea what. I failed miserably as a journalist, and now failing at web chick. I'm not worried about being a disappointment to my parents anymore, as I was after I failed to set the news world on fire. Now I just feel like a thumping huge disappointment to myself.
It's so pathetic to have such lofty expectations of oneself but have no direction whatsoever towards achieving anything.