Some statistical information about my work week thus far:

• 5 calls to the Help Desk
• 4 times Help Desk hold music was Run To Me by the Bee Gees
• 1 time Help Desk hold music was How Do You Mend A Broken Heart by the Bee Gees
• 3 red gala apples eaten
• 3 monitors that have ceased working in my presence
• 14 inches of screen in the shitty monitor I am now forced to use due to above
• 800 x 600 shitty resolution of above screen
• 2 times I accidentally stapled my finger
• 6 attempts at starting a report but read weblogs instead
• 3 out of 100 tissues left in box of Aloe Vera Kleenex
• 4 re-installations of Macromedia UltraDev before someone believed me that my puter was ill
• 3 hours computerless while puter was rebuilt
• 750ml orange juice drank
• 43 records entered into our invoicing system before I realised I didn't put them in under my name, rather same of someone away on holidays
• 3 number of times I said "you fucking moron!" after above occurred
• 1 printer that ran out of toner just as I queued up 30 page document for printing
• 1 times I ran away from said printer and hid in the loos til someone else discovered problem and changed cartridge.