10AM tomorrow is my allocated time for Discussion With Important Dude about The Future™. The agenda revolves around the following four questions:

  1. What do I do in my current role?
  2. What would I like to do?
  3. Where might I do it?
  4. What do we need to do to make it happen?

Answers are as follows:

  1. Sweet fuck all.
  2. I wanna be a paperback writer. Paperback writerrrrrrr.
  3. Well certainly not in this cold multinational conglomerate.
  4. Get me some talent, imagination, alcohol.

I looked at my CV last night, untouched since I first got this job on 1 November, 1999. I always seem to score employment on my birthday. Granted the other jobs I got on my birthday were shitty ones: 1) a coffee shop 2) a fish n chip shop. And it's a long time until my next birthday, I'll be living in the gutter if I have to wait til then.

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for August 2020.

32 thoughts on “Shitscared

  1. I’d forgotten all about your coffee shop job!

    Anyway, what ya worrying about your CV for? You’ve got a degree, and that counts for more than just journalism in employers’ eyes. You earned yourself a damned good reputation in the public service. You’ve proved you can learn on the job, on the fly, which is an important quality these days. Plus you’ve got a very popular blog, and have a demonstrably natural talent for writing! Oh, and you keep yourself fit and healthy, provided a dog with a good home, and wrote a novel in a month!

    I, on the other hand, have a truly dismal CV. From an employer’s point of view, mine is just a string of failed/incompleted endeavours, with some gaps of just nothingness in between. (Well, there are a few things, but no where near enough for me to go for anything but a job for thick people.)

    Anyway, I hope it all goes well tomorrow. But, if the worst comes to the worst, there’s always redundancy pay to look forward to, and a new opportunity to get a job that suits you. Either way, I’m sure it’ll all turn out fine in the end 🙂

  2. We’re hiring in the philosophy department. Can you teach the philosophy of religion, applied ethics, and feminist spirituality? Barring that, can you fake it? Do you have a resume?


  3. Dude! It sounds like they’re re-enacting ‘Office Space’ in your offices. Just do exactly what the guy did in the movie when he had his ‘re-evaluation’ meeting.

  4. This probably a good thing in the end. Just like if my company were to cancel or reduce our New Years bonuses this year; that would of course force me to go on a destructive rampage and end up with my picture in the newspaper toppling the ice-scupture at or annual company party as I say “Fucking ice scupture! How much did that cost, huh?”

    And, of course, I’d have to look for a better job.

  5. What’s your sisters name & number? Kidding. Are you considering just going with the flow on this one or is this the time to jump ship & do something completely different?

  6. “inarticulate clod with no skills and I have trouble staying awake on the job”…. Prime Minister Shauny then?!

  7. I don’t even have a resume. I’ve got a degree now, I guess. But I don’t want a job. Not one that requires thought, anyway.

  8. Y’make hamburgers, Shauny?

    I s’pose you get all the girls, too, and take them out to dinner.

    (then masturbate in their dreams at 3:20am heeheehee)

  9. graham – i don’t like surprises!

    mark – you shuddup about that masturbation thing! *smack* 😛

    dean – yeah that’d be bloody right! i may as well not exist. meet a guy, hello guy, guy likes me ok, but guys meets sister! shauny no longer exists!!


    anyway. yes, it’s time to jump ship.

    what happened to my comments? why is there no break between the comment and the posted by? arrgh

  10. comment comment comment comet if it’s urgent send it comet we won’t let you down the road apiece ok this excercise of free association is going nowhere fast – there goes my plan of reinventing myself as a post-modern poet god….

  11. I once was in this nauseously churning company, full of unhappy people, and they offered me the choice between a job where I’d be supervising all the surplus people (who knew they were surplus) in roles that were badly defined and leading nowhere, in a department that was likely to be closed down again within 6 months, and redundancy – and the redundancy package contained not only a retrenchment bonus, but also the RETENTION bonus that was part of my original package. It was a shitload of money for a ridiculously short period of employment at a place I’d hated almost from the start. I am not a masochist, so you can guess what I did….

    It paid for six weeks of doing nothing, all my debts, AND a new (secondhand) car….

    Everyone deserves a good redundancy, once in their lives!

    But it’s scary while you’re going through it.

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