Who invented the Hot Dog Maker? How difficult is it to heat up a bloody hot dog? Have you looked at the kitchen appliances on offer these days?
There’s the Muffin Maker, in which you can make a grand total of three muffins at a time. Ditto for the Pie Maker and the Omelette Maker. Then there’s the Popcorn Maker, Sandwich Grill, Health Grill and Rice Cooker.
I always thought you could achieve all those bloody things and more with a normal old stove and a frying pan. But no, it seems you need a different appliance for every dish and your shiny new appliance is guaranteed to make the job Quicker and E-Z and 97% Fat Free!
Chances are, I’ll come home from work tomorrow, fling my bag down in the hall, scratch my chin thoughtfully and remark to the dog, “You know Harry, I really feel like prime beef fillet served on a bed of dirty carrot tops and poached hummingbird eggs with a rosemary and deer antler jus.” And Harry will turn to me and say, “Well it’s funny, today I just popped down to the shops and bought the brand new Breville Easy Prime Beef Fillet Served On A Bed Of Dirty Carrot Tops And Poached Hummingbird Eggs With A Rosemary And Deer Antler Jus Maker! It’s so easy that even me, your flea ridden companion, can be a gourmet chef! I simply throw in the ingredients, press Start and walk away. Twenty minutes later you’ll be dining in style.”
It’s hot today and I’m cranky. Also, Mission Impossible 2 is one of the worst movies ever made.