A Day In The Life

I get a few emails each week saying, "You don't update enough" or "Stop editing and deleting posts" or "I want to hear about your underpants", so it's your own fault you're getting a post full of tedious What I Did On My Weekend crud. Thankfully it's only Saturday night so you won't have to hear too much. If you don't like that kind of post get thee to the archives.

Friday night Rhi and I had Thai somewhere in Kingston. Whoever came up with putting spicy peanutty sauce over a pile of meat is a fucking genius. I wanted to pick up the plate and lick up the last dregs of the sauce but if I'd made a move for it I'm sure Rhi would have jumped in ahead of me.

This morning I woke at 8.30 and thought Hurrah I Shall Sleep Til Noon but then I rolled over and thought, what is that lumpy thing beneath me? Oh it's my fat arse. So I went to the gym instead. First an hour of glorious kicking and punching, made particularly glorious by one of the tracks being Destiny's Child. 

Then we stayed another hour for Pump in which I nearly killed myself as I started sneezing in the middle of the squat track. If you start twitching in anticipation of a sneeze with a big loaded bar across your shoulders, the rear end starts to sway dangerously. It's quite disconcerting. Especially if your sister is laughing at you.

After the class we were knackered. Limped home and crawled up the stairs. Ate the food, fell asleep. Later on this arvo I went to meet Amy, Goulburn blogger extraordinaire, who was in town for the day. As I was walking down to Civic I got a message from young Monkey who believed I was ignoring her and thought her a Stupid Jerk.

But I called her back and said, "No you are not a Stupid Jerk. How bout you and Mattay come meet some strangers from the internet with me?" Safety in numbers, that's what they taught me in kindergarten.

So I met Amy and her sidekick Andy by the merry-go-round. Don't you love alliterative couples? Andy and Amy, meet Monkey and Mattay. And Shauny. Shauny and… Single. Mwahaha.

Amy and Andy were both bloody great people, nice and funny and easy to talk to. Luckily Amy was nervous too so she could ramble instead of me. Hehe.

I didn't spill my drink or destroy anything. When I met the other guys for the first time I nervously shredded two beer coasters. I was really enjoying it. But all the while I am having a concurrent conversation with my brain:

– Hey brain, why is it that you only have like four topics of conversation? Dodgy Real Estate Agents, the gym, Crazy Shit Your Mother's Done…
– That's only three topics. And don't look at me. You're the body. You need to transport yourself towards something resembling an interesting life.

But it turns out the others were having similiar conversations with their brain. It's always a little weird at first, you get all paranoid about what kind of impression you're making and wonder if they think you're a Stupid Jerk. But then you just realise, these are nice people, not axe murderers, and if they think you're a Stupid Jerk they'll talk about you on the drive home and wouldn't tell you directly. So let's just drink our lattes or chocolate milkshakes and enjoy it, woohoo!

Does anyone else feel weird talking about online things offline? I always want to start giggling. We were briefly talking about Movable Type vs Greymatter and it felt so weird, it's like this whole thing exists entirely in my head and I forget that there's real people connected to it. Then Amy said the word "Bloggie" and I cracked up because it's just such a funny word out loud.

Anyway, I had a really good time! Thanks kiddies. Then I walked home. BECAUSE I CAN. Ahh, I love living so close to everything. I feel so urban and hip, until I remember it's Canberra.

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for August 2020.

18 thoughts on “A Day In The Life

  1. There’s a new kind of social contract with the blog. It’s considerably more dangerous than the already troublesome relationship between author and reader, in which reader demands new book pronto you son of a bitch, little realizing that author needs time to not only deliberate and hone up the tome but find a tenable way to publish the damned thing (i.e., can author logistically make next month’s rent? is this the same old hash?).

    Now thanks to the Internet, the petty bleats of readers demanding instant gratification have sealed this Hobson’s choice. Update a lot and you’re damned. Update too little and you’re condemned. Diverge from the ha ha funny or the inline graphic and actually (aghast!) contemplate and you’re suddenly some Minnesota housewife’s number one fan, with the duct tape thoroughly constricted around your throat via fractious e-mails.

    It’s a neverending circle, this little contract. And it’s probably one of many reasons my own hits are so sporadic. But if I was concerned about popularity, I’d lay off the political diatribes, attend every blogging social gathering with a hidden agenda and somehow find my way into an A-lister’s pants, presumably the online way of marrying into money.

    Who gives a damn about the readers? Write when you goddam want to and about what you goddam want to. If your readers can’t understand that the hyperelectronic bypass is a hell of an advantage compared to the ritualistic wait for a letter or a magazine in the post, particularly when one considers the immediate contact with the author, then it is their loss.

  2. Yeah! Remember who’s in charge here, Shauny. YOU are the Muse; everyone else simply sits at the font, awaiting wisdom from the goddess. And remember that it’s all wisdom; if some of it seems to be something else, why it’s just ignorance and lack of enlightenment on the reader’s part. They’ll come to understanding in time; if they don’t, fuck ’em where they breathe.

  3. Shauny, you’ve such interesting weekends. Mine, well, I guess they’re interesting too, in their own way. Right now, for example, I’m trying to keep the kitten entertained–she’s trying to get me to play fetch and I, silly mortal, want to type and be on the internet. When will I ever learn?

  4. Sounds like you had an interesting weekend 🙂

    On the matter of emails saying, “You don’t update enough,” and stuff like that, I have to say: at least you get complaints! In comparison, no one seems to have even noticed that my site’s completely vanished. Even I didn’t notice!

  5. I noticed, Simon! I just didn’t want to pester…and I still have you linked because…I like you.
    Also, I loved this post…it was so flowy and windy, mmm mmm!
    I wanted to do Destiny’s Child KAR-A-O-KAY (must be shouted) last night but I got shot down. Bubs is going to the aquarium tomorrow so I am so all over Yahoo messenger. 🙂

  6. Ed might be onto something here. Why pay for your own domain and hosting and crap when you can just blog in other people’s comments? saves time, effort and money. clever.

    So anyway, I was in Civic yesterday and I called Shauny…

    ok, I’m going now. (I had a nice time, Miss Shauny. Well done for not destoying stuff.)

  7. Hmm… was my blabbering really that obvious… oh dear 😉

    I had a lovely time Shauna, I’ve bored Andy shitless telling him how nice you all were. 🙂


  8. Talking of destroying beermats, the pub I went to this evening had beermats with sort of zig-zag serrations down the middle on both sides, seemingly to aid in beermat destruction.

  9. great comment Ed… especially enjoyed your phrase “hone up the tome”. hehe.

    the first paragraph was sposed to be a joke. i don’t give pander to readers for popularity’s sake. my problem is usually my inner sub-editor who thinks every post is crap and i shouldn’t put anything out there, really.

    i just find it amusing when people write me to say hey you should do this or you should do that or how come you don’t do this any more?

    if i did what they asked you’d see 3 posts a day and photos of my breasts.

  10. i like your blog cos you never know if you’re going to be side-splittingly funny or serious, personal or uhmm… shallow? not that anyone could describe your blog as such.

    to bastardise my mother’s favourite quote, “blog is what you make it”

  11. Online things offline? Sure, it’s weird, but unlike some people, my community of friends is known to me online and offline. What’s silly about it is the point when your friends stop you and say, “Yes, Gee-off, we read that on your site. Start from there.”

    We all do this to each other. It’s hilarious. I mean, it’s just sooooooo funny. It was even worse when both Amy and I were heavily involved in GreyMatter … that got weird, because our friends would ask us all the time what was going on there, and we were like, “We’re sick of talking about it. Leave us alone. Go read the damn message board if you want to know. Here’s my login if you want all the sticky stuff. Post under my name, and I’ll hork your GM installation to hell and gone.”

    Yeah, it’s weird. But I don’t think it’ll change.

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