My sister and I have bought a new car. Well, an old car. Well, not old. Made in 1998. It's my third car and finally I have one made in the nineties. I have come so far!
Anyway, we're getting a joint loan. It will be nice to share the expense of having a car. We decided to celebrate getting into debt by spending $80 on dinner.
The cute and sweet waiter greeted us (as opposed to the cute and funny waiter). He had a big smile and said, "Well, I haven't seen you two in here for awhile! Table for two?"
We had ordered some drinks when Rhiannon said to me, "Did you think there was anything weird about how he said table for two?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you think he thinks we're like… together?"
"Together? You and me? Ewww! That's freaky!"
"Well I don't think he realises we're sisters! I mean, we don't look anything alike. And we come in here all the time, just you and me."
"We come here with other people sometimes!" "Yes but who have we come here with? Emily! Bettina! Jenny! Always girls!"
"Well Andrew came with us for my birthday remember?"
"Yes but he was clearly with Emily!"
"Well I spose next time we come here we'll just have to hire some male escorts."
"I say tonight we make a point of letting the waiters know that we're just sisters."
"Okay, but how do we do that?"
We were interrupted by Funny Cute who took our order. Rhiannon ordered the chicken something-or-other. I asked for the lamb rump with the exotic potato thingo.
"Okay, but it's actually not lamb rump anymore, we're using a different cut now because we weren't happy with the quality of the rump."
Rhiannon looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I tried to mentally calculate the impact of me saying "Oh, what a pity, I do enjoy a bit of quality rump". Would that establish my heterosexuality or just make me sound like an idiot? Instead I just said, "Well. DAMN!"
Funny Cute went away and Rhiannon said, "I know what you were going to say there, something about liking a bit of rump!"
"Ahh, you always know what I am going to say."
"See! See what I mean? Just like an old couple! We can finish each others sentences, we're living together, we're buying a car together, we go to the gym together, can you see what impression we must give people?"
"I say we give the impression of two sisters who are just unusually in tune with each other as a result of a rather colorful childhood featuring questionable parents, a close bond developing between us as a means of survival. The only two sane ships in a sea of dysfunction, if you will."
"Can we just try and work it in somehow that we're sisters?"
Sweet Cute comes over with our garlic bread.
"You know," I said loudly. "Our mum really likes garlic bread."
But he'd already moved on to the next table and out of earshot.
Later on, I was umming and ahhing over the dessert menu. Sweet Cute came over and I gave Rhiannon that look, you know the one where you're trying to give someone their subtle cue? But with tortured eyebrows and twisted mouth, you end up more looking like you're constipated.
She understood, however, and spoke loud and clear. "So what are you going to have, sister dear?"
I tried not to snort from laughter and ordered the apple blackberry crumble. Sweet Cute went away and I hissed, "Do you think he'll understand what you mean by sisters? Like sisters as in we have the same mother?"
We pondered this for awhile, but then I overheard Sweet Cute talking to Funny Cute, "Hey, they're sisters! I never knew!"