Sleeping with the Fishes

I have three recurring dreams – driving a speeding car with no brakes, missing the bus, and turning up to my final exams and realising I forgot to study and/or turn up to class all year.

My mother, she has three recurring dreams too. That is, three copies of Recurring Dream – The Very Best of Crowded House.

i dunno what i was thinking with that cacky pink nail polish

“Well I don’t know, I had a copy at home and then I forgot I had it so I bought a copy for school, and then the third one? Some cloning going on in the CD rack perhaps.”

This is the same woman who once was alphabetising her CDs and told me to put Recurring Dream under H.

“House, Crowded!”

“Right. So by your logic that one there goes under Z for Zeppelin, Led?”


About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for January 2022.

48 thoughts on “Sleeping with the Fishes

  1. You’re mum’s so……quirky. πŸ™‚

    (And I’m not having any problems with the comments.)


  2. Love those scans. Love your handwriting. Well apart from the second one. I’m glad I had your translation then.

    I haven’t been having comment trouble. Maybe some entries are more commentable than others, although I think that this particular one is worthy of a few more than 4 in 14ish hours.

    Also I note your timestamp is off. Mine was too. Apparently I live in Japan to make it work. Yet MT say it must be my server.

    And, (cause I seem to be going on and on) Mel gets so cranky when Dawn on Buffy says “math”. She screams at the TV, “It’s Maths!! Mathssss!”

  3. It’s Mathematics. (or addin’) Everyone shaddup.

    I have dreams where fish swim in the air, too. Sometimes I try to jam them back in the water where they beling, but mostly I just watch them. My imagination has lovely fish.

    That was a helluva sentence…

  4. Wow! Some dreams!

    I’ve been having vivid dreams, too. Sleeping with a nicotine patch and the light on really get ’em going. (Even saw a short girl unimpale herself from her boyfriend on a pub table just before I woke up – and his penis must’ve been over a foot long!)

    That one with Rhi drowning sounded awful, but the one with the beermats sounded fun!

  5. I’m English, and it’s “Maths.” makes sense, really, abbreviating “mathematics” to “maths.” Unless Americans are really doing “mathematic.” Cool dreams. I had one last night about travelling by train to Borth, only they wouldn’t let us go on unless we took my old physics lecturer and packed him carefully into many cardboard boxes. Then I parked the train (now my car) on the wrong side of the cliff, and had to run back to see if the tide had claimed it.

  6. a big UMPH to americans in general. speak properly like us english/australians! (hah, i love that australians use the same words as us. it’s so refreshing.)

  7. The creepiest dream I ever had was going back to the house I grew up in and finding a stack of dusty old boxes. I found old toys and books, and then I heard something.

    As I dug a little deeper, I noticed movement… I took the lid off of the moving box, and there was our family cat that has been dead for 10 years. It was still alive, but it looked dead with filmy eyes and matted fur.

    Brrrrr. Yuck.

  8. First off we all know that Austrailians ryme Shauny with corner so we know the’re a bit off.

    I simply don’t understand how it could be maths…In school do you work on a maths problems? If so, then thats just WRONG!

    DO you also take Germans class? or how about English’s? Why do Austrailians think that single things are plural?

    I just finished lunches and now I have to go to my creative writings class.

  9. There are more Americans than Brits and Aussies put together! Strength in numbers! Also we spell words properly. We use the letter ‘z’ UNLIKE certain people of certain nationalities I could mention. So there!

  10. I’ve had a recurring dream lately that has essentially involved being smothered by breasts. Sure, you could interpret this as the typical quotidian fantasies of a heterosexual man who particularly admires that remarkable pair of soft and sinuous organs. But here’s the thing: the dream motif has been accompanied by a random lady asking me very politely if they can smother me with their breasts. And this always seems to happen first. Sometimes, there are options, as in, “Sir, would you care for one boob in your face or two?” and sometimes, money is somehow involved (“Mr. Champion, the meter is running.”).

    The thing I don’t understand about these recurring dreams is how some remarkable lady with breasts is prepared to smother me no matter what the environment or nature of the dream. Just last week, as I found myself dreaming about storming the beaches of Normandy (the Nazis, strangely enough, were replaced by vicious accountants firing off fountain pens at my direction instead of bullets), as I was about to capture one of these Nazis/moneymen, one of them suddenly turned into a lady. Suddenly, this remarkably sized, newly appearing lady told me, “You’re going to need a Schedule 44D,” and then wouldn’t you know it — my head was once again joyously smothered between breasts with complete complaisance.

    Of course, this had nothing to do with Normandy or Nazis (unless you count those Ilsa movies). But these recurring dreams have been happening for about two or three weeks. And I’m feverishly contemplating why the breasts feel the need to make these regular appearances, along with some prefatory sentence. Not that I mind, of course. I’m just wondering if I’m having a premature seven year itch or this is my mind’s way of saying, “Heya! Ed! Bedroom tango time!” If my brain is concentrated upon these two salient organs of desire, then I’m wondering whether I need to have more fun during my Friday and Saturday nights or I simply need to find the largest mammary gland (Woody Allen size?) possible. That essentially means smothering my face into one of the bovine’s six breasts. And that’s a hard way to find a solution to this for an urban dweller like me.

  11. I’m not sure why the conversation even started on maths vs math, but I have to say this:

    We certainly don’t say we’re going to work on a maths problems. That’s just stupid. We either work on a maths problem or maths problems.

    And Marybeth, you know you want to be one of us. I can visualise your envy-green coloured face from here.

    And I had a lucid dream again last night! Woohoo!

    I found this purse in the library, so of course I stole it. Then when I checked out the money, there was a $64 note. I thought that was odd, but as soon as I looked at it again, it was a $45 note.

    Aha! I thought, I’m dreaming! And promptly took off all my clothes and then I, well, guess.

  12. Marybeth, don’t you mean ‘strength in number’? πŸ™‚

    I am also irritated by ‘math’, but I just try to think of it as a noun along the lines of ‘air’ or ‘water’, as in ‘some air’ and ‘some math’, or ‘lots of water’ and ‘lots of math’. But it doesn’t really work, ’cause ‘mathematics’ just isn’t that kind of noun.

    Anyway, is it unreasonable to expect the nation most known for abbreviating things (all those TLAs (‘Three Letter Abbreviations’), and so on) to understand the grammar of abbreviation?

    ‘Advertisements’ doesn’t get abbreviated to ‘advert’ or ‘ad’, but ‘adverts’ or ‘ads’. ‘Bicycles’ doesn’t get abbreviated to ‘bike’. ‘Nuclear weapons’ doesn’t get abbreviated to ‘nuke’. So, why does ‘mathematics’ get abbreviated to ‘math’ in American dialects of English?

  13. So let me get this straight.

    Austrailians say “I’m taking my bikes out for a ride” !?!?!

    Do you also say “I Just saw this ads on the telly”?!?!

    Why isn’t it “Tellies”? or I just went for a drive in my “cars”

    Perhaps Austrailians take more than one math class at a time…THEN IT WOULD BE “MATHS”!

    …Perhaps it is because they have so little Austrailians have to pretend they have two of everything…

    A penal colony indeed… Criminals of the English language I’d say. :p

  14. Wanna take this outside? Huh? Huh?

    What Simon is saying (which makes perfect sense) is that if a word is a plural, then its abbreviation should be plural too. So if it were ‘mathematic’, we’d say ‘math’. Just like we say bike for bicycle.

    And you’re putting too many i’s in Australia.

    Shauny I apologise for this raping of your comments.

  15. Not unless some cruel bastard were to turn Shauny into a piece of furniture known as the Shourner.

  16. Slack, I’m English! πŸ™‚ (English, that is, in senses relevant to this off-topic discussion about the nature of the abbreviation ‘math’. (Sorry Shauny, but, you know…))

    Anyway, English is a messy, complicated language with lots of exceptions, different grammars for the same kinds of things, and so on.

    Just look at pluralisation, and how we have ‘book’ and ‘books’, ‘sheep’ and ‘sheep’, ‘mouse’ and ‘mice’, ‘goose’ and ‘geese’, ‘radius’ and ‘radii’, and so on.

    So, it’s quite acceptable, I think, for American English, in being a dialect or version of English in its most general sense, to have ‘math’ as an exception to the rule of not abbreviating out the pluralisation.

    But it is just some versions of English in which that’s correct, not all πŸ™‚

  17. Correct my ass! Bah! You people are all nuts! As soon as you all realize (realize! realize dammit!) that the Americans are the correct ones with EVERY GRAMMAR QUESTION EVER, then there will be world peace. No more of this crazy talk in other people’s comment logs about whether or not it’s British English or Australian English or American English that’s correct. Dammit, they’re all the same basic language, and the Americans are right! Bwahha!

  18. I mean, Americans are the deviates. It all started when Webster was compiling his dictionary, and decided to “simplify” the language in the process.

    Actually, if you’re talking about people who use Commonwealth English, this would also mean not just the British and Australians, but New Zealanders, South Africans, Irish, Kenyans, Tanzanians, Zimbabweans, plus the considerable number of Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans who are literate in English etc etc. These combined add up to more people than the Americans.
    Don’t try and out-pedant us. πŸ™‚

  19. Okay, Graham, you tell me: why is it absolutey necessary to pronounce schedule like “shwe-dyule,” which sounds like an inebriated gazelle, when “sked-zhool” is easily the shortest distance between two points? Simplify? No. What Webster & Co. did was put some common sense into the language? Lest you non-American English speakers forget, we produced the amazing tome known as “Moby Dick.” James Joyce couldn’t have written “Ulysses” without some of this whacked out inspiration. Sure, Melville was a Bible man, like an unfortuantely substantial portion of our population. But you will find divine metaphors and outlandish terminology in the American language. And if it wasn’t for our man Poe, the ultimate endearing literary nut, you wouldn’t have Sherlock Holmes!

    Out-pedant you? Where the hell do you folks think you’ve been getting your literary and philological ideas? πŸ™‚

  20. I was just thinking that perhaps we should get the convicts and the Jesus freaks together to hash it out and the rest of us could just go off somewhere and live in peace…

    I tell you one thing about ryming Shauny with corner…It makes me practice my Australian accent every day. I just know it wont be any good untill I can make those two words ryme. πŸ™‚

  21. There have, at times, been those who have decided to try to prescribe how English should be – and not just with American English. But lexicography, and the like, should be *descriptive*, *not* prescriptive. After all, general consensus among the speakers of a language had to be the basis for what went in the first dictionaries (otherwise they wouldn’t’ve been dictionaries of those languages).

    Whether or not something prescribed in a prescriptionist dictionary actually becomes a part of the real language depends on whether or not people in general consent to adopt the prescription. (See the entry in my blog from earlier today for relevant stuff on singular ‘they’. (hey, that rhymes!))

    Personally, I do think it’s a good idea to have just ‘-ize’ instead ‘-ise’ and ‘-ize’, but I like to try to use ‘-ise’, ’cause I find it fun.

    But seriously, the real issue underlying this whole debate is the question of when the US will finally see the error of its ways, and return to the Empire.

  22. You know Simon. It’s kind of like an empire…only smaller.

    Only the British could live on a little island and call it an empire.

    Y’all need a few more square feet before you can start calling yourself an empire again doncha think?


  23. *Reaches for death ray, only to find it’s radar instead.* Damn!

    (Radar was invented when we Brits tried to invent a death ray, you see.)

  24. It’s “Shauna” that rhymes with “corner” Down Under there.

    I think the varieties of English are endlessly fascinating. I just found a site with South African local useage, and another with Irish slang. Six (at least) nations separated by a language, indeed! Languages are living things, and the constant transformations, always several steps ahead of the grammarians and lexicographers, are unmistakable signs of vitality.

  25. Oh please. It doesn’t matter who spells what which way, or who pronounces a word differently. And why is the Z better than the S? Seriously. Z is the hardest letter on the keyboard to type – I’m not going to voluntarily add it to words!

  26. oh darlings! you so don’t need me here to write entries! i am enjoying this so much. please continue πŸ™‚

  27. Oh, but we do need you! If you didn’t write entries, what would we digress from?

    And yes, Steve’s got a good point about languages being living, changing, evolving things.

    Except French, which has to be artificially kept alive by special laws to protect it.

  28. Yup, that effective British empire. Look how it handled India, Hong Kong, and South Africa, and got embarassed by some undergunned badass revolutionary thugs in the 1770s. (And I’ll be fair: Britain certainly had its hands full with France during the War of 1812. But the British proved equally brutish in burning the Library of Congress in Washington. If it hadn’t been for France, we would have “returned” to the British Empire against our volition.)

    But where would the precious UK be without Amerian help in the two World Wars, eh? Speaking DEUTSCH! That’s what! Return to the British empire? The British empire can scarcely help itself and has a simpering lapdog who answers to the name of Tony Blair at the helm of its astonishing governmental ineptitude. How else can one explain the unlikely partnership of Bush and Blair, standing like Laurel and Hardy at international relations functions, embarassingly stepping into foreign policy while coldly removing any semblance of privacy that exists in Western democracies.

    Return to the British Empire? Excuse me while I chortle without quarter at the Union Jack.

    Since it is clear that America has with very little effort made the British Empire flaacid and irrelevant, why then must our contributions to the English language be considered under some sort of hand-me-down protocol? The nerve of you Brits! You steal the detective story from Poe. You eat our fast-food McDonald’s Crappy Meals. And you have the nerve to plead superiority!

    Maybe you’re jealous because New York uprooted Paris as THE Artistic City to be in during the 20th century or that we dared to introduce pop art or smooth Hemingway/Cain prose.

    But even a pacifist like me will gladly take up arms against any “return to the British empire” or any cavalier dismissal of American cultural contributions. Or as Daffy Duck once said, “Of course, you know, this means war!”

  29. Ed, you obviously have no trouble at all recognising the obvious, unmistakable absurdity and ridiculousness in what I said about the US returning to the Empire. Yet that’s exactly why I thought no one would fail to recognise it as a joke!

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