Win Win Win!

It was easy to name my first car. It was a Nissan Bluebird, and thanks to my reckless driving, it really flew, man. So it was THE BIRD! Then it was easy to name the second car Golden Boy, coz he was gold and there's nothing like a Seinfeld reference.

But this new one has us stumped. Perhaps I can't think of a name because I haven't formed an attachment to the car yet (possibly because I can't drive the bloody thing. It's manual and I can't drive a manual for shit, I am having to learn rather quickly).

Anyway, I've decided to hold a Name That Car Contest. I'm not sure what the prize will be. Perhaps the prize will be Golden Boy himself. Of course, you'll have to come here to get him, and give me $3000 or so. Okay, I will think of a better prize. But here is the nameless one, a 1998 Ford Festiva.

To Be Named

The judges (ie. my very fickle sister's) decision will be final. Enter as many times as you like! Don't be shy!

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for January 2022.

71 thoughts on “Win Win Win!

  1. Merryl
    Maroon Marauder
    The Manhattan Project
    Ulala (from Space Channel 5!)
    Carfo πŸ˜‰
    The Screaming Silence of Your Impending Doom (Sucka)

    More later – BwhahahHAHAHhaha!

  2. When learning to drive a manual transmission I found this phrase to be quite useful. It’s pilfered from a very blonde, very southern girlfriend who got pulled over late one night enjoying a few hours military base leave. It helps if you work the accent and fan your bossom with your hand a little like you’re about to faint: “Why Off-i-cer! It’s just s-o-o hot, and I haven’t driven a stick in so lo-ng.”

    That’s why I suggest “the officer” as a temporary name. When you learn to love your stick you can amend the name to “the gentleman.”

    Otherwise whatever curse word / phrase you find yourself saying when you stall the thing in the middle of a busy intersection, always a classic for car names. πŸ™‚

  3. Manual… Man-wal… Manuel! Like in Fawlty Towers. After all, Basil Fawlty was always having to manhandle Manuel, because he wouldn’t do the right thing automatically. (Yes, I know, I’m sorry, it’s a really, really bad, stillborn joke.)

    Or ‘The Manhandler’? There are, I think, a number of ways that could work.

    And ‘Maroon’ fits quite nicely on the front of either of those. (What was it you always used to say? Beware of Gratuitous Alliteration? Anyway…)

    Talking of gratuitous alliteration, how about ‘The Maroon Manual [insert your surname here] Mobile’? A name that also works nicely with the fact that you’re jointly owning it. And you can abbreviate it to ‘The MM[surname initial]M’.

    And on the theme of it’s joint ownership, you could name it ‘The [surname initial] & [surname initial] Mobile’.

    Or just ‘The M’? Could mean all sorts of things that way. ‘The maroon car’, ‘the mobile’, ‘the manual marvel’…

    Yeah, how about ‘The Manual Marvel’? Or ‘Maroon Marvel’? Or ‘The Maroon Manual [surname initial] Marvel Mobile’?

    Actually, come to think of it, can we submit regular expressions for this competition? /^(The )?(M.* )*(M.*)$/ ? Or would that be cheating?

    Oh, and don’t forget not to ride the clutch!

  4. Wow! That is *exactly* the same as my friend’s car! That’s so weird.

    Anyway, I think it should be Cherry something. Cherry Lips? Feel like being derivative? How about Cherry Bomb. Uh, not casting any aspersions or anything, it just sounds cool.

    What about just Cherry? You could shorten it to Chezza for that true Okka touch. πŸ™‚

  5. My mum once named her car with the feminine version of the name of the dealer, i.e. Cecilia.

    Surprised no-one’s suggested The Shaunymobile. Actually, no.

    How ’bout Winona?

    Or Christine? πŸ™‚

  6. I quite like the idea of “Burgundy Boy”, or perhaps The Manhandled Manual Maroon Manuel, just because there just ain’t enough Fawlty Towers references going around, I find.

    Actually, it’s a Ford, ain’t it? So why not simply “The Purple Bitch”, or “Sir Starter-not”.

    Manuals aren’t that hard to drive, once you get used to them. Well, they are, insofar as driving of any sort is difficult at the particular stage of L’s that I’m in – but they’re not *much* harder than autos. once you get used to the idea of going up a gear whenever you sense your engine’s about to explode (and take the Mouat/Northbourne crossroads with it), and down a gear just one millisecond before you stall, it gets better.

    Incidentally, can you warn me whenever you drive around Dickson or Belconnen? I’d like to watch – it’s *so* comforting to see someone *else* do kangaroo hops :o)

  7. I thought at first glance, that it was a red version of my Greenlee! (a 1997 Ford Escort). Greenlee, of course, is a character from the soap opera All My Children.

    What about Miss Scarlett, like from the game Clue?

  8. Eggplant supprise
    Ford (what…it’s a name!)
    Bob (short for Plum-bob)
    Cinco (It’s a Festiva!)

    ok…back to work

  9. Hmmm, I like the Scarlett name the best…but then, I love Gone With the Wind. She looks a bit like a Rosie, too. Got that one from Lord of the Rings, you know. I’m a pervy hobbit fancier πŸ˜‰

  10. The PenisMobile
    Crimson Ghost
    Aunt Flo
    Dammit, It’s Not Chardonnay
    Suave Mauve
    Car Porn
    Sex on Wheels
    The Maroon Goon
    Claret Chariot
    Flushed Bus
    Red Tape

    I kinda dragged out a thesaurus there at the end.

  11. Florence. Florence Festiva.

    And then when you stomp the accelerator, everyone in the car can shout GO FLO GO!

    I like it.

  12. How about the “cherry bomb”? Oh wait, I see someone else came up with it before I did…. how about the Red Rocket, or the Rocket’s Red Glare (ugh, probably too American)?

  13. how about “The Unknown” ?
    theres a sense of mystery about it id say :)~

    break off any and all logos attatched to the car…

    Come, enter “The Unknown”

    how about:
    The Dragon (wataaah!)
    Bruce (bruise – in that case:)
    Jimmy (James too)
    The CDC (center for… blah)
    Purplish Viral Infection
    [CHOOSE SYMBOL] – (the car formerly known as killerkong)
    The Nasty Man (mr. Nasty too)
    My Purple Vagina (uh oh)
    Patience (song)
    18 and Life to go (another)
    Po Pimp (in’) (another)
    Tha Shizneit
    The SDO Express (
    The SSSDoubleD Mobile (shauny’s same shit diff day mobile)
    IWAC (i want another car – pronounced IWOK – as in star wars)
    Slow and Low
    Got Purple?

    ok, im out of ideas…

  14. It all makes The Bird and Golden boy sound rather tame, doesn’t it?

    And I can’t believe Mattay said Carfo. Oh wait, I can.

  15. Damn, someone already said Rosie.

    Pox? ehehe I’m gonna name my kid that, someday.


    Canardly (as in a Rolls Canardly – rolls down the hill, canardly get up the next)

    ok, I’m going now.

  16. How about “RU-BY ROD!”
    You know, that crazy black guy from The 5th Element?
    He’s not exactly a blokish-guy, so it’d kinda fit for a girl-car.

  17. 1. Beetroot Betty
    2. Jam Jalopy
    3. The Raspberry Coulis

    ‘kay, so I’m pretty hungry at the mo.

  18. probably one of the more pathetic suggestions, but how about ‘the berry’ or something? ’cause it’s kind of berry coloured ..

  19. Carlotta
    Calliope (just in case you’re skewing towards ‘pretentious’)
    Bedazzler (which I wouldn’t name a car, but I would name something)

  20. nads?! LOL!!!!

    *puts on her voice*

    gonads and strife, gonads and strife, gonads and strife!!


  21. The Vindicator


    Lady Margaret Deathstrike


    Lady Petunia Salchicha (Salchicha is Spanish for sausage)

  22. “Plum Crazy” (very USA, sorry..)
    I’ve heard that the best way to learn to use a stickshift smoothly is to practice by letting out the clutch without using the gas pedal — gives you a very good idea of where the clutch engages. If you’re not careful you can burn out the clutch in an afternoon.
    “Vin Ordinaire,” for a Continental touch?

  23. Maude
    Great Aunt Spagnum
    Nilson (Nils)
    An Enigma Wrapped in a Plastic
    Mr Darcy
    The Slapper
    The God Pheonix
    The Firey Pheonix
    Little Miss Vroom Vroom
    Little Miss Screaming Silence of your Impending Doom (sorry, I just like that phrase πŸ˜‰

  24. Muffin Rouge
    Little Miss Muffin
    Manual Muffin
    Muffin the Mule
    Stick Shiftin’ Muffin
    Little Red Muffin

    ‘Muffin”s good, ’cause then you can say, “Get in my Muffin!”, “Got to wax my muffin,” “My Muffin’s wet today,” “Just polishing my Muffin,” “Got to get my Muffin warmed up before we can go anywhere,” “Once I got into manual driving, I found my Muffin’s got plenty of juice,” and so on.

  25. Christ on a bun, can’t think of anything that hasn’t been expressed ^.
    But since she has a vaguely latin name… perhaps something ssspicy like Juanita?

  26. How about ?

    The cruiser
    Maroon Mama
    Ball Buster
    Meany Me
    Turtle neck

    My kid is calling me, so bye for now.

  27. FESTIVUS! *lol* Nice one, Tyler. Maybe we can install a Festivus Pole in the car too.

    Some really interesting names here, folks. Thanks! I have consulted with my sister and we’ve narrowed it down to a handful, but haven’t quite been able to decide yet.

  28. Regardless of what you call it now, I guarantee it will soon develop the name “Costly Piece of Crap”.

  29. What an inventive lot y’all are! Hell, it never occurred to me to name a car in the first place; it was always, “Wanna take my car or your car?” Altho, now that I think about it, they all eventually were named That Piece of Shit.

  30. Best one on the page is “Mister Diddler” Because you have to get yourself there manually. LOL

    Diddle Mobile

    The Diddler

    Red Shitbox

    F!@#in’ Piece of Crap American Car

    Found on road dead (Ford)
    Fixed or repaired daily

    “Stick Appeal” Vroom, Vroom!

  31. Rocinante.

    Or Alice.

    And why does everyone else in the world drive automatics? I only know one automatic driver here in the UK, and I hate the bloody things, having tried to drive my dad’s once. Completely did my head in. Give me a stick shift any day.

    How about Sticky Alice?

  32. there’s some really nice(?) names here *G*

    PLEASE! post our “top 5” and let us see what you’re thinking of name her.

    (and your friends are just TO FUN!) (or is that FUNNY? πŸ™‚

  33. Berry-coloured was the first thing that sprang to mind, so here’s my contributions:


  34. Sir’s idea: Festy.

    And he wants to correct Shrek and say they’re made in Korea… at least the ones that make it to Australia are.

  35. He came up with another one… Karma. For car, and the ma is like our Fo.

    I guess my brand of weirdness runs in the family :p

  36. Hi you!

    I was thinking that maybe Betty would be a good name for your car.

    You know…Betty Ford.

    Oh well, that’s my lame attempt anyway. What can you expect from somebody who calls their own car Bessie.

  37. How about:

    Piece of Sh*T car? (i’d like to thank adam sandler)

Comments are closed.