The Doors of Exertion

I go to the Ladies Room at work about six times a day. The bladder is fine, thanks for asking. The new job is perfectly fine too. It's just sometimes you need to escape for a power nap. (I still use the same pillows as I did two years ago. Has anyone been reading that long? I tried resting my chin in my hands but if you stay that way too long you end up with big red streaks on your face like gigantic love bites.) Anyway. I was barging through through the door yesterday when I noticed the door makes a very pronounced groaning sound. And it's a very masculine groan. Like a kick to the groin. I felt kind of bad for the door. Sorry door, I said in my head. So next time I went I was very gentle and the groan sounded almost like an appreciative moan. It is a door of many moods. Today the office was almost deserted so I napped even more than usual and tried out all sorts of techniques on the door, to see what sort of notes I could hit. You know when you kind of open a door with your butt/hip? This guy in the hallway wouldn't stop yapping and I was all, "Yes yes, gotta go gotta go" and sort of entered the Ladies Room backwards. The door gave a pained "Ooof!". Then this afternoon for something different I got violent and charged at it with my shoulder, like a rugby player with a tackle bag. I just thought of a few nasty bastards that I would like to barge and it was quite satisfying to hear that "Urrrrrrrgh" from the door. Tomorrow I will practice my roundhouse kicks.

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

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24 thoughts on “The Doors of Exertion

  1. i power nap in the ladies’ toilets too. mmm, think i could do with some shut-eye now.

    the door to the men’s toilets in my last office made this noise that sounded like my name – “aaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne”. so i used to whirl around thinking someone was calling me until i figured out it was a talkative door. i never did venture into the men’s toilets to see why it was calling me.

    [just like whenever anyone says ‘and’ and then pauses. damn my parents!]

  2. I get a whole hour for my lunch break. My house is 5-7 minutes from the office. (Depending on traffic and the occasional “dream run”) Almost everyday, when I go home for lunch, I nap. That half hour does wonders for my attitude when I get back to work. Does anyone remember Dooce and her parking garage power naps?

  3. One of the only benefits of working in the suburbs and having to drive in every day, is napping in the car at lunch. I drive to the deserted end of the parking lot so no one sees me, though. And once, a long time ago, I locked myself in an empty office and slept horizontally across three chairs. Amazing to know I am not the Lone Napper, as previously thought.

  4. When I worked night shift at a gas station for a summer, I used to get all my cleaning chores done at 2 in the morning, so I would sit on a milk crate behind the counter and sleep for about an hour or two, till the early morning commuters came in…it’s funny, no one ever questioned me about it, even though I’m absolutely sure that a camera was trained right on my napping spot. I guess they didn’t care any more than I did.

  5. I’ve been reading for that long… longer, in fact. Shauny, I think you may be one of the only constants in my life, and we’ve only ever spoken on the phone a couple of times. The one time I got my lazy arse to Canberra you were down at the mothership’s for the weekend so we couldn’t go out for dinner (but you did suggest a FAB restaurant) .. maybe i’m just trying to say thanks, Miss S. for all of it.

  6. so many people sleep in computer labs. offices overnight. parks… why some even get friendly with the toilet… ah hem. but the best place to save for the ultimate powernap is by far the train. it’s got that specialised rocking motion with creaks and groans to go – and it saves the peak hour anit-stare stare.

    oh and thanks – your entries never fail to raise a grin. 🙂

  7. I’ve been reading that long. *g*

    And there is actually something deeply, inherently, almost *genetically* satisfying about kicking a door open. No, really.

  8. I work in an office where EVERYONE round-houses the door to the loo open. You’ve really got to watch it, someone’s going to get killed one day. eh heh heh *ahem*

  9. I’ve been reading since Valentines Day when somebody linked to you. But I have gone back and read your archived stuff, so I feel like I’m *sort of* in the club. Carry on blogging!

  10. Man, i thought that entry was SO going in another direction when i started reading it…

    i envy you. i have to use my arms and the paper holder for a pillow.

  11. I’ve been reading sincccce…. October 2000, when Shauny first linked to me. Sadly, she has since deleted the post in one of her chaff-weeding frenzies.

    Not sure why I didn’t find you back when you started using Blogger, Shauny, because I checked for the word ‘Canberra’ a few times in Blogger search and at the time mine was the only one that came up.

  12. awwgghh shucks…
    I’m a relative newbie to the world of wnp…
    yet I feel on intimate terms with eeksy and peeksy.. or the ‘pillows’ as they have been affectionately described.
    those blog entries from 2000 have tumbleweed blowing over them, but they still share the same voice…
    humbled in your presence, ms shauny! :c)

  13. Lol! I can’t sleep sitting up. The car, however, may be an exception. The oddest (and perhaps this surprises no one) thing I’ve used for a pillow – a kittie’s belly. 🙂 Those things have three winning factors: a) warmth b) soft c) makes a lovely lulling purring noise.
    Unfortunately my boys are still too small and I fear I would squish them should I use them as pillows!
    The point of this comment re sleeping – Right on Shauny!

  14. we have the very same door at work. you have to be buzzed in (to the cash office) and, depending on how hard you whip the sucker open, it’ll groan or oof at you. it’s quite reassuring to know you’ve still got that va-va-voom when you hear a door scream “WEEEEER” after a good open & slam.

    as for the pillows.. unfortunately, it would appear i’m ill-equipped for such power napping.

  15. I suppose if I ate enough, and cut down on the walking and other physical activity, I could grow my own set of pillows. And then I would take naps in the women’s room too.

  16. I’ve been reading that long. But you knew that.

    Have you tried opening the door with your pursed lips? (may want to use a tissue). It may give a contented sigh.

  17. how do you rest your head on your pillows? If it be eeksy& peeksy, how in goodness name do you Sleep on them?Push them upwards to your face with your hands and crane your neck downwards!? and on the dunny to boot…lordy that must be uncomfortable

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