What Goes Up

Oasis have gone from packing out Wembley to playing the bloody Canberra Theatre. Next stop: Noel and Liam rock the Cowra Bowling Club.

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28 thoughts on “What Goes Up

  1. Woohoo, first comment. I don’t comment very often…I saw Oasis in Indianapolis, Indiana about a year and a half ago. They opened for the Black Crowes. Personally, I liked Oasis better. Eventhough I’m a huge Beatles fan and they seem to be ripping off John…But that’s an opinion.

  2. I predict they will be celebrity boxing the guys from Milli Vanilli in a few years. Actually, now that I write that, I think one of them is dead, so maybe not. Maybe they can box a couple of guys from N’Sync or some other soon-to-be washed up boy band. Good tv viewing for the whole family!

  3. Their new album is the same as their last album which was the same as … oh, never mind. (Frickin’ Beatles rip-offs … grumble, grumble)

    Cowra Bowling Club’s to good for them.

  4. This distresses me. Though I was never an Oasis fan, I did like the version of “Wonderwall” that people in my high-school class ssang. “Because maybe you’re gonna be the one that save maeeeee, and after alllllll, you’re my Wonderbraaaa!”


  5. Oasis, Embrace and all similar British pop bands from the mid-90s are the decade’s answer to hair bands. Just as Motley Crue, Poison and Warrant can now be found playing rummy small club venues located within the pockets of suburban creptitude, so too will Oasis and Company find their audiences at small ampitheatres, eventually to wither away to nonvenues. The band will realize that the blowjobs, groupies, drinking, nose candy and fistfights weren’t nearly frequent enough and that such backstrage behavior is entirely unacceptable for the 2008 Windsor County Fair, where people, mostly respectable, have actually paid for the fair and not for a runaway band fallen from grace. (One can only hope that this cruel reality extends almost immediately to the Backstreet Boys, who, above all soulless boytoys, deserve to get their flat abdomens and flawless bicuspids if not trampled — for I do not wish violence on anybody — then at the very least considerably humbled. Millions of dollars to produce treacly and unlistenable rubbish, perpetuated in record stores, commercials and every other form of media, has to carry some sort of unspoken karma in the universe. The price will be exacted not for a pound of flesh, but for a pound of ground chuck.)

    Of course, it’s quite possible that with the gradual dropoff in album sales that you’ll see more bands on the road, largely because that’s the only way they will be able to earn their keep. The Faustian deal with record executives can’t be a compelling reason for any band to continue in that guise for long. Make no mistake: people want to hear music. But they also want to watch a band live, feeling that teenage rush of hips gyrating behind mike stand or, if less licentious-minded, just a jolly good show. Music as a recurrent background motif doesn’t do the form justice. And no matter how the RIAA fight turns out, one thing remains certain: we all need a singer’s thighs to go ga-ga over, provided the venue is something that a Conde Nast employee or a DIY delusional case might approve of.

  6. The two brothers from Oasis give me gas. I was in London the other day, and I swore to myself I would bury my boot in their ass if I saw them. Someone needs to kung fu their egos in half. Ringo alone has more talent in his left eyebrow than Noel and Liam will ever have. Am I angry?

  7. but are you going to go?

    i mean, it’s still oasis. i’d go. if only in the hope of hearing stuff from definitely maybe live, and so i could say definitively that that blur are better.

  8. Oasis are playing the Forum Theatre in Melbourne, two days after Morrissey plays said venue. I won’t be there (for Oasis, that is), because I’ll be at the Mogwai gig at the Prince of Wales. And because Oasis are shite.

  9. Oasis have completed the sell-out cycle: they sold out to play Wembley, and then humanity realized they bought a lemon, and took them back to the dealer. Of course, I don’t believe in selling out, so maybe it all just means that the listening public realized that two assholes sounding like John Lennon with a pencil through his voice box does not a good band make.

    In reality, maybe I just wanted a reason to post something on your oh-so-sexy website? …that’s probably it.

  10. Bands seem to go in one of three ways.

    First, as sounds like it’s the case with Oasis (and I hope it is), bands can just decline, like a slow death in which they descent into band hell.

    Second, they can ascent beyond this earth, as if rising into heaven. They cease to be bands in this mortal realm, but live on beyond themselves, as the Beatles demonstrate so magnificently, and Queen less magnificently (I would only go to watch the musical in order to see how bad it is).

    Perhaps they might spend a bit of time in pergatory first, though, in which they seem to have descended into band hell before it’s realised they’re actually in band heaven.

    And then there’s reincarnation, where the band splits, but kind of returns in the form of a new, different band which is yet somewhat the same. Alas, The House Martins cum The Beautiful South is the only example I can think of off the top of my head, and they’re probably not well known outside of the UK. Oh, and David Bowie, who made a career out of it, of course. Not that he’s a band, but anyway.

  11. Simon: Because, of course, Brianna Corrigan sounds exactly like Paul Heaton. Watcha talking ’bout Willis? Somewhat the same, Paul Heaton’s songwriting structures and shift away from pop (or, failing that, my ass).

  12. Well, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of…er, let me find a different adjective…

  13. I can’t actually tell the difference between any of their songs… so I am imagining a concert with the same song repeated over and over again… sounds like super fun!

  14. i hold no interest whatsoever in seeing oasis at any of their RSL venues. tho i do hope that they get a spot with tricky ricky wilkins on the today show. just so i can see them swear and be inappropriate.

  15. Ed, it is quite possible that I am profoundly ignorant when it comes to The House Martins and The Beautiful South, hence I may well indeed have been talking crap. But as I’ve never listened to enough of their stuff to tell, I can’t be sure.

    We had an earthquake last night.

  16. Slack: Technically, I live in Columbus, Indiana. Since this is “corn country” seeing concerts requires a bit of traveling. So, in answer to your question, I don’t think you know me.

    Oh, and we had FOUR tornadoes touch down here in Indiana last Friday. Mostly, in the Indy, Greenwood area. Roughly 30 minutes away from me. Scary.

  17. It was actually the worse storm Indiana has seen in over a decade. Just to let you know more stuff you’re not interested in….the storms causes over $30 million in damage. Since Saturday, day after the storms, the sky has been virtually cloud free.

  18. was going to leave a comment on the two afore-mentioned Gallagher brothers, but everyone seems to have covered most of the ground already!
    I’m from the UK, so I guess I should apologise for inflicting Oasis on an unsuspecting world. All I can say is.. I reckon a good portion of humble pie could well be the ‘making’ of our overly egotisitic siblings! :c)

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