MOTHERSHIP: Have you shown them the mailbox with the legs?
M: It’s only the biggest tourist attraction in town! Somebody has a mailbox that consists of a big pair of legs sticking out of the ground. The postman has to slot the mail into its arse! Hee hee hee!
AMERICANS: [alarmed look]
M: Trust me, it’s really cool! You’ll love it. It is Australia! Let me draw you a map.
So we drove by and hung out the car window with cameras. I’m sure the highlight of their whole insane Australian jaunt will be the mailbox with the disembodied plastic legs. It even had a pair of black undies on, for the sake of decency.
The Mothership also landed on Tuesday to eat our pasta and to sit on the couch asking, “So, what’s new?” and other inane questions every seven seconds.
MOTHERSHIP: So what’s new?
SHAUNY & RHI: Nothing!
M: Well there must be something!
S & R: There’s nothing!
M: Hey, do you think you’ll ever go to France?
R: Sure, why not?
M: Will you be going in that tunnel?
M: I don’t want you going in that tunnel!
R: Why not?
M: It’s crazy, that tunnel! It’s underwater and goes on for miles and anything could happen in there! I don’t believe in tunnels!
R: I’ve been in the Sydney Harbour Tunnel.
M: I don’t like you going in there either but this one is longer. And foreign! Promise me you won’t go in that tunnel!
R: You’re a crackpot.