Team Australia are working as administrators for a company concerned with aged health care. This means data entry and filing.
Remember that period of insanity I went through last year as Secretary Girl? Well I’m there again, baby! But I’m not whinging this time. Why? Because I really don’t care. I know I’m not here forever, and Rhi’s working with me.
So we’re going batty together. We spend our days in a teeny tiny office, typing in medical details for elderly folks and climbing over staff to reach the shelves to file things.
The longer we’re there, the more loopy and juvenile we seem to be become.
SHAUNY: What would you like us to do now?
SCOTTISH DUDE: Umm. I’m afraid it’s more filing. Do you mind filing?
SHAUNY: Noooo! I was born to file!
It gets rather depressing occasionally, seeing all this information about people in their twilight years. Some of them are really in a bad way. It’s quite an eye opener. I spend a lot of time sitting there wondering if they’re happy or if they’re lonely, if they’re alone in their house watching Coronation Street or if they’re got enough legs to pop out to the bingo. I type in their contact details and wonder who will be my contacts when I’m old and grey and need someone to come over and pick up my wrinkly bod when I’ve fallen over in the garden. Perhaps I should be nicer to people now.
It also scares me, all these things that can go wrong with your mind and body. We’ve seen stomach ulcers and paralysis and hernias and cancers and dementia, all manner of things. Sometimes I feel like nicking out of the office and to go do things like climb some hills or write a book or shag some kilt guys while I’m still relatively spritely.
All this musing aside, the urge to be unprofessional quite often prevails. We amuse ourselves by setting challenges to find the oldest client (101), the most common geezer names (Mary and Alex), the one with the weirdest ailments. The first one to find someone with a goitre wins a fiver.
RHI: Hey look at these two old ducks. They’re sisters.
SHAUNY: Oooh er. Just like us!
RHI: Do you want to be Margaret or Mary?
SHAUNY: It depends who’s got the worse ailments.
RHI: Well, you have to be Margaret because she’s older.
SHAUNY: But I don’t wanna be! I’m arthritic and blind in one eye!
RHI: Well how do you think I feel? I’ve got bowel troubles and I’m mildly confused!