1. Refrain from all contact with shower, bath or soap since the Thatcher era.
2. Be part of a tribe of fifteen year old girls on AIM, reading each other snippets of your saucy conversations with dirty old men. Squeal often, and actually say LOL out loud
3. Sniff loudly and frequently, as if you were trying to inhale Loch Ness up your nose
4. Be Mr and Mrs Joe Suburbia on Expedia, squabbling over who gets to control the mouse as you plan which crappy Greek or Spanish isle you will take your fake tanned arses to for the Bank Holiday weekend