Morons in the Attic

Cabin fever really set in last week. Well, attic fever, to be more precise. Rhi and I do our endless data entry holed up in a little room at the top of the stairs, with some servers and a very quiet secretary for company. Every time she leaves the room, we degenerate into behaviour not seen since kindergarten. Chronic boredom seems to have pushed us to the brink of madness. There's hair pulling, tickling, stomping on toes, Chinese burns, graffiting of limbs with highlighters, and very nasty insults. As soon as we hear the secretary on the stair, we drop our weapons and nonchalantly resume our typing. Eight hours of daily attic confinement combined with living together has taken its toll. It all came to a head on Friday when Rhiannon "accidentally" smacked me across the face. "Whoops!" she said. "I didn't mean to do that. Really." "Really. Really?! What the hell is happening to us?" I cried, rubbing my nose. "We've become savages!" "I know! We're worse than the Romans! Killing people for entertainment!" We sat there contemplating our sad state. A mere hour later, Rhi got a call and was offered a job elsewhere. A real job, with a desk of her own, no attic, no data entry. She starts tomorrow. Left alone I will no doubt start talking to myself, but at least there will be an end to the violence.

About Shauna Reid

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10 thoughts on “Morons in the Attic

  1. Ough! And to think that when I met Rhiannon, she seemed such a demure and sweet lass. And you, well, I had no idea that such violence could ever come from a face as beautiful as yours. Och, Shonny, och.

  2. Sez you. I’m sure you’ll be sitting at the window, staplegunning passerby in no time. The working world is mad, I tells ye!

  3. that’s so cool about rhiannon’s job. i’m sure i speak for a few people when i ask you to tell her congrats from the greater shauny internet community.

    let’s hope you score a really cool job soon too. 🙂

    hmm, just thought about what a nice name ‘rhiannon’ is. might have to add that to the (currently only mental) list of possible names for the growing parasite if it turns out to be a girl.

  4. I’ll tell you my favorite work-boredom story: When I was in college, I worked for the University catering service, which served lunches, dinners, etc. for on-campus functions.

    One night we did the annual awards dinner for the campus newspaper, which was/is one of the better student papers in the country and is, as a consequence, quite full of itself. Well, the speeches went on and on and on. We had served, cleared, sat in the back and eaten our own dinners, and there was nothing left to be done until the guests left.

    Two of the kitchen help were so bored that they picked up one of the waitresses, a slightly-built girl, and decided to stuff her into one of the ice chests to see if she would fit.

    Now THAT’S bored.

  5. Wow, I don’t think my sister and I have indulged in that kind of violent play since we were tykes…You’re so lucky!

  6. Sounds just like me and my sister.. except it’s not in the workplace! We’re constantly poking each other and calling out things like “fight in aisle 5, fight, aisle 5”! Course when one pokes the other, they have to poke back harder, then the first has to poke back even harder to compensate and so on.

    btw, I’m 22 and she’s 28! yes, we’re silly like that.

  7. Ahhh, regressing back to childhood can be such a delightful thing…

    Anyway, that’s good news about your Welsh-named-sister’s new job – perhaps it’ll be followed soon by a groovy job for you?

  8. “Chronic boredom seems to have pushed us to the brink of madness.” I’m well over after having far too little to do at work. Its weird how the money ceases to compensate for that much mental anguish – I guess it isn’t the only thing after all.
    Enjoying your thoughts…

  9. thank god for e-mail and websites like these…otherwise the day would be so unbearable…busy and bored at the same time…now that is gross…knowing you get all these things thrown at you…but knowing too well at the end of the day everything falls into place….

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