Conspiracy Theory

“How do we know you’re in Scotland?” emailed one cynical WNP visitor this week, “How do we know you’re not still in Australia and just being really lazy about updating?”

Indeed, how do we know? I keep forgetting myself, except that I keep saying “wee” all the time and I’m beginning to think lard is one of the five food groups.

There’s a heap of photos to post that may serve as proof that I’m not in Oz (or proof of an elaborate hoax). I still haven’t got the bastards organised. In the meantime, here’s a sample.

ooh pretty

A sliver of sexy Scotland, taken somewhere or other as we headed up into the Highlands.

moo, yo.

A hairy cow with hair colour eerily similar to my own

no english

A dog in Frankfurt giving me the stink eye

in the next frame, they mugged me.

A dog in North Berwick giving me the stink eye. He only had one eye. And check out the lady in the back. She is giving the stinkiest eye of all.

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27 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theory

  1. oh dear. pics look a bit dark. wish you could see the old duck’s shitty expression…

  2. Let’s recap, then.

    The dogs don’t like you, and the cows look like you.

    So when are you coming home? 🙂

  3. Nifty pictures.

    Especially the hairy coo.

    Spanking and stinkeye, my goodness – aren’t there are days when you swear blogging could just never get any better?

    But seriously, get out there and antagonise more old biddies with flash photography.

    See if you can’t get a torch weilding mob after you, muttering about “furriners steelin’ oor souls” with that newfangled technology.

  4. In my wacky and scottish-on-my-mother’s-side- family, the second picture is of what is known as a ‘mucklecoo’. I am not sure why. Will have to investigate.

    However, have had one of the stuffed toy variety since childhood, so seeing that made me go: “oooh! A mucklecoo!” in the middle of the computer labs. Thus refining my already wonky reputation. Ta!

  5. Ahhh….what I wouldn’t do for one of those kegs of Konig-Brauer. I’m tellin you, having lived in Frankfurt for 10 years there are just some things you pine for…

    Romer platz, stink eyed dogs and all.

  6. I concurr, Miss Momo.

    There’s heaps of them “heilan’ coo’s” wandering around the dubbo region. I call shenanigans. Shenanigans!

  7. Doubting Thomases, the lot of yez. Crack teams of locally-based inspectors have already verified the presence of WNP in Scotland, and still you refuse to believe. Next you’ll be telling us that dog in Frankfurt isn’t guarding half a dozen barrels of chemical weapons, and that that North Berwick crone (clearly an Islamic extremist, look at her scarf) isn’t poised to spring into a kung fu death kick.

  8. wow, they dun like u very much in europe do they.. oughta go hm 2 oz. =P
    oh and if ur wondering.. i jus blogsurfed.. random surfing n all.. is hw i got here.

  9. Remarkable gals you have over there,boys!
    Squinting ,if not keeping your eyes shut at all times,must surely be of help?

  10. The ‘mucklecoo’ is a ‘muckle’ coo
    A great big/massive/large Cow

    “Look at thon muckle coo wi’ the muckle heid an they muckle horns! ” Aye, yon’s an Aberdeen Angus

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