Scottish men. What can I say? I can’t get enough of them and they can’t get enough of me. Just witness this conversation I had with a client the other day!
It was supposed to be a brief call to make an appointment for someone to visit him, but the flirty old bugger wouldn’t stop talking. His name was Alex and he was eighty-four years old.
OLD DUDE: So dear, where are you calling me from?
SHAUNA: I’m in Edinburgh.
OD: Edinburgh! Have you climbed Arthurs Seat?
S: Not yet…
OD: Oh you have to! Have you heard the legend about Arthurs Seat? It says you have to wash your face in the morning dew in June on Arthurs Seat. I did it myself once, when I got out of the army. You should see my complexion.
S: It’s June now, I guess I should get cracking?
OD: Yes you should! Then you have to send me a photo of your face so I can see if it worked or not.
S: And what if it doesn’t?
OD: Well I guess I’ll use it as a dartboard!
OD: Och, that wasn’t very nice was it? Promise I’ll be nice to you now.
S: You’d better be!
OD: I will. So is it you that’s coming to visit me on Thursday?
S: Oh I’m afraid I won’t be, I just work here in the office.
OD: Got you chained to the desk have they?
OD: Oooooh… now that sounds rather fun…
OD: But don’t worry about it dear. I am sure if you wait awhile, your knight in shining armour will come and free you from your bonds!
S: I sure hope so!
OD: Just watch out though, once he does that he’ll probably just take you outside and tie you to a lamp post!
S: *hysterical laughter*
OD: Ah ha! I made you laugh again! Not bad for an old man of 184, don’t you think?
S: You’re doing very well.
OD: But you know you owe me for all this entertainment!
S: I do?
OD: Oh yes. For each laugh I give you, you owe me one cuddle.
S: Really? I think that’s three times you’ve made me laugh now.
OD: Oh I’ve been counting dear, believe me…
S: I’ve really enjoyed our chat but I have about 50 more calls to make today…
OD: You know the others won’t be half as interesting as me. They’ll just be old and boring!
S: You’ll be hard to top, that’s for sure.
OD: Are you sure you can’t come and visit on Thursday?
S: I’m sure. I’m as crushed as you are!
OD: But what to do about these owed cuddles?
OD: *dramatic sigh*
OD: Oh well. It’s been very nice talking to you dear!