Now I am somebody's secretary for two and a half weeks. Today I was reunited with my old friend, the Staple Remover. Then I got acquainted with an industrial-sized Shredding Machine, desiccating some Important Documents. The machine was covered in hilarious warning labels – apparently it is a bad idea to dangle your necktie and/or Rapunzel locks over these fearsome jaws of death. In this office the desks are sandwiched together, so it's easy to spot who is reading a novel, who is on the phone to his wife, and who has his index finger wedged firmly up his nostril yet again. Are you looking for buried treasure? Must you dig so vigorously? I took my lunch outside and found a nice spot under a tree, where a strange fluffy bird peered down at my salad. His monotonous chirp sounded precisely like the shooting noise in Space Invaders. Which was music to my ears, so long as he agreed not to drop a bomb on my head. The sky was heavy and glowering, the wind slightly bitey. I must be getting used to this climate, because I found myself thinking, "Mmm, sure is warm today!". Back in Australia, you'd have said it was miserable, perfect for chucking a sickie and curling up on the couch with Oprah and a jar of Nutella.