It is remarkable how The Mothership is able to annoy, even from this incredible distance. We had our mail redirected to her house, and she feels duty bound to open our bank statements and credit card bills and provide insightful commentary:
Why did you spent money there? Can you afford that? Have you got enough money left to eat? You better be eating vegetables!
Over the past few months I’ve been bombarded with nasty letters from Optus, insisting that I’d not paid a phone bill that I insisted I had paid before I left Australia. When letters from debt collectors arrived, we finally worked out what the problem was. I’d paid the bill via internet banking, and had selected “Optus” from the drop-down list of past payees. I didn’t realise that the list was linked to an old Optus account from a previous address. So basically I’d paid money to a dead account.
So The Mothership went on a mission to get things sorted:
After several calls, have managed to sort out your “little” problem. All is fixed. Your Credit rating is still intact, so that’s good news. So…always type in correct details – never do drop down when paying accounts!
Of course the smugness of her tone filled me with an irrational rage. I fired back this snooty message: Mother, You didn’t even bloody know what a drop-down menu was until I told you!!! So why don’t you…
At this point, I had to save the message as a draft because I was at work. But instead of hitting save, I accidentally sent her a half-written email. To which came her reply:
dear shauna, ah! this is your second “???” with technology….don’t let it become a habit! Hope your receptionist job goes well – you can do anything with all that experience working at KFC! Anyway, must be off, the dog needs a run!
I’ve never known anyone that I so badly wished to simultaneously hug and strangle.