We puffed and grumbled along, the combination of recent rain and New Year tourists left the path slippery. But the view at the top made it all worthwhile. You get a true 360′ picture of Edinburgh, right out to the Forth Bridges, the snow-sprinkled Pentlands, and those other hills I can’t remember the name of.
But my mind wandered as we began our descent. An hour of jaunty exercise surely had to be counter-balanced by some serious carbo-loading? I was thinking Monster Mash, home of the giant sausages and towering piles of buttery potatoes. I was reviewing the menu in my mind when suddenly my feet deserted me.
It was a mad jumble of limbs and beanie and backpack. Then I plopped to earth, blinking in shock, with a madly cackling Rhiannon standing over me.
“Oh shit! Oh yes! Oh… are you alright?”
“I’m fiiiiine!” I felt mud oozing down the back of my leg.
To their credit, Mattay and Monkey struggled to keep a straight face. But Rhiannon was merciless, recounting the fall in glorious detail as we continued down.
As she wiped tears from her eye I finally admitted that it had been rather amusing. I dug out my phone, shuffling down the hill as I tapped out a text message:
Guess what? I just fell over on
This time I manage to land with my entire body weight centered on my right buttock. The thunk was good and wet and loud.
My darling sister clutched her stomach and dropped to her knees as she laughed silently. Even Monkey and Mattay, the most gracious houseguests in history, couldn’t help themselves this time.
“You were texting to say you’d fallen, weren’t you? That’s too delicious!” Rhiannon crowed, “Oh, are you okay?”
“Yes. Yes. Shut up.” My phone lay muddy and spent on a tuft of grass a few feet away.
And just for good measure, I fell a third time ten minutes later, this time cocking my right leg at a bizarre Karate Kid angle.
“How about this, kids,” Rhi addressed our guests, “Why don’t we stop right now and sit on Shauna’s lap and just tobboggan our way to the bottom?”
Later that evening, as I curled my battered body for sleep, my sister sang softly from her bed, “Slip slidin’ away… slip slidin’ awaaaay…”
Also on The Seat: Giant dog with trio of faux redheads.