Some days I want to surrender and have one of those weblogs where one can just fire up about whatever's shitting them off on that particular day with no regard for quality and editorial control instead of the sorely neglected over-edited pile of pish this site has become.
So here's a few things that have annoyed me lately.
1. Small child on bus who turned around to face me and demonstrate her ability to make giant snot bubbles zap in and out of her precious little nostrils.
2. The person who heats up their lunch in the microwave and takes it out before the time is up then just shuts the door WITHOUT clearing the timer, which means when I wander into the kitchen the display says 00.27 or 01.00 or whatever trickle of time they left behind, instead of showing the CLOCK which is the rightful setting for a microwave currently not in use, so I am forced to clear it myself coz I can't stand microwaves that haven't been allowed to finish their jobs properly. I have been pressing that damn Cancel button for eight months now and I swear I WILL FIND YOU, fucker, and I will microwave your arse on 100%!
3. West Approach Road closure. Small delays my arse!
4. Deranged flatmate obsessed with safety.
FLATMATE: Do you know where the bath mat disappeared to?
FLATMATE: Well you know it is there so we don't slip over when we get out of the shower!
SHAUNA: No way?
FLATMATE: It's dangerous. One of us could slip out and go flying right through the glass door!
SHAUNA: That could be interesting.
5. Woman in my Body Jam class wearing PEARLS with her skimpy hotpants and crop top. PEARLS!
6. Losing the lovely amber ring The Mothership bought me a mere two weeks ago. I don't know where or when.
7. The way my boss dials the telephone with excruciating slowness, fingers hovering over the numbers as if trying to select a chocolate from the Milk Tray box. 3…. 3…. 4…. *pause for a full minute* 6… 7… 7… *goes and makes a cuppa* …………. 9. Pick up the pace, sport! Don't make me break your dialing finger!