Stool Boom

The three new dads were talking about their babies with the passion and in-depth analysis they used to reserve for football and chicks with enormous tits.

DAD 1:  What nappies y'usin these days?

DAD 2:  Pampers.

D1:  Size 1 or Size 2?

D2:  Size 2, I think. He's only 6 weeks old but he's a big bairn.

D1:  Aye, but not fat like.

D2:  Aye, not fat. Just a solid unit. Stevo, what nappies do you use?

DAD 3:  Pampers, mate.

D2:  That's what we're using too, but we're having problems with them.

D3:  Bet yer putting them on backwards, ya numpty!

D2:  Nooo. They're just not working. No absorption, leaking everywhere, the poor wee fellae's got shite up his back and that's not nice.

D1 & D3:  Nooo.

D1:  Do you remember their very first shite?

D2 & D3:  [faraway smiles] Aye!

D1:  It's sooo long. And it stretches out forever.

D2:  And it's black!

D3:  It's like tar. Stretchy tar.

D1:  It's boggin'.

SHAUNA:  Goodbye, maternal urges.

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for January 2022.

20 thoughts on “Stool Boom

  1. I was almost gonna agree with Mark there for a bit… 😉

    it can’t be good for anyone to talk about shit that detailed.

  2. I’ve been reading your journal for a bit and I love it! Thanks for the entertainment!

    I work with a guy who thinks that we all want to hear about his kids shit, too! What is that? He describes it like his kids did something brilliant, “Last night Austin’s shit was this weird green color….” it goes on and on.

    Boys! Sheesh!

  3. D1: It’s boggin’.

    rofl, i suppose this is some kind of backward slang for something where you are… at least i hope it is. *laughs*

  4. You dudes are freaking me the HELL OUT. Boggin? Mingin? Boak? What next, wopterhammernutking?

    No, wait, I guess that’ll wait until Shauna visits Germany.

  5. As the Mum of an eight-week old, with a stay-at-home dad, I can concur with Shauna’s experiences.

    It does get a little old …

  6. As the Mum of an eight-week old, with a stay-at-home dad, I can concur with Shauna’s experiences.

    It does get a little old …

  7. That godflame bot sure gets around. At least I hope it’s a bot, and not someone so completely pathetic that they do nothing but pimp their blog in random, unrelated comments all day.

  8. comic post as usual, shauna. nice reading. somehow i can imagine this to be a movie scene, with ewan mcgregor as one of the daddies. 🙂

  9. Speaking as a father of two I chuckled at the entry about the baby’s first shite.

    It’s called: meconium. I found this blurb on google:-

    Meconium is a greenish-black color and very sticky, tarry in its texture.

    When babies are developing in utero during pregnancy they ingest amniotic fluid and excrete it everyday which passes out through your own kidneys and urination. Meconium is the first stool a baby passes which is also a build-up of material gained during pregnancy and which must be expelled after birth.

  10. meconium! it has a name? arrrghhhhh!! sounds like something from another planet!

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