I’m Vanessa. I’m stuck in the office not in Spain. So there….
I’m Robert. I need a new job, anywhere but here.
Jessica- cranky, mean people keep bothering me today. Help!
Hi. I am Shauny’s plant…..and there she goes again!
I am Kat and I haven’t slept for 48 hours!
I’m Marybeth and can’t shut up about just having met Dave Barry.
Hi – I’m Dave and I’m a Shaunaholic. So there!
Hi – I’m Sigga, a Shaunaholic living in London 🙂
Hi, I’m Amanda, I work on a Helpdesk… kill me
Hello my name is Jacob, I’m addicted too. [sits down and starts giggling nervously]
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go
out walking.
I’m Ellen-American, I vote and I hate republicans.
Hello – Fellow Aussie, partaying in Vegas in 2 weeks! Woohoo!
Hi, I’m Jane. I’m trying to turn 30 three years early.
I’m Kathryn and I have the day off work.. woohoo!
Howdy! I like chocolate.
i’m leah and i’m a grump after naps.
Hi, I’m Jason. I read Shauna when I should be working. Shes my fast track to the sack!
I’m Ariane and I hate signal processing.
I’m Sarah, I talk too much and can’t handle word-limits
I’m Michelle and I have until Wednesday off work!! Woohoo!! Oh…and I’m from Melbourne.
I’m Kerewin from Seattle and I just got back from Spain (damn Seattle rain!).
Hi Shauny! I’m Anna. I’m Tired. I’m from Adelaide.
I’m Lizz and I’ve been reading wnp for five years.
Or
I’m Lizz: I’ll be sacked for reading wnp at work
Or:
I’m Lizz. Damn Shauna and your many lovely holidays. Jealous!
I’m Monkey (hi all!) and I’m cranky that my internet connection’s been down all day.
I’m Rob, and I should really be studying.
I am me. Who are you?
(hey she said ten words OR LESS)
I’m Faith. The baby’s asleep. GO WILD! PARTY! YEE HAH!
I’m Rob. Another Rob. Not the one above. Nor Robert from above. There are two other Robs in my office too. When did Rob become such a common name? I’m Bob.
I’m Bushra, and I really need to keep up.
I’m Natasha, bored waiting for flight to UK then Montreal.
My name is Ros. I’m an Australian living in London.
I’m Laura, I’m leaving London for Scotland in 3 weeks.
I’m Heather and I ate too much at lunchtime – am now fat bloater!
Yo homies, I got kicked in the taco this morning.
I’m Lisa, and I’ve got a raging cold right now…
Hola. Soy Soph. Soy australiana viviendo en Barcelona. Me encanta Shauny. Besos!
Hello I am Michelle and I won a trivia contest last night!!!
I won a frozen chook at Southport Drive-in once!? Bella.
I’m Richard and I lie sometimes and I can count
Stephene – an American living in Australia looking for a job.
soy holly. vivo en españa. soy de los estados unidos.
I’m Slackjaw, watching the wind with a cup of coffee.
I’m TC, I played a minor part in Shauny’s blog one weekend years ago, and am aghast at all the fun she’s having now.
i´m shauna (and gareth) in valencia and it´s 8pm and still 16 degrees!!!
(how many words is that!! OLE!)
hi i’m ika and i like to rant
Hi I’m Colin and I need a holiday.
I’m Callie, I wish I had exciting adventures too instead of my usual Saturday night.
I’m Witold and I would like to wish you a very happy Birthday!
I’m Anja and I should be cleaning right now
Shauny goes away too much. Come visit my site instead!
I’m nika, american, and going to London in 25 days!
All hail Witold! Happy birthday Shauny!
I’m Agnes and I have a sweet little secret.
I’m Dee. I can fart. Sometimes they smell. Not always.
I’m Jenny, and I’m being evicted from England in one month.
Snorks in Sydney, engineer, musician, dreamer. Happy Birthday Shauny.
i’m cara and i can’t wait to hear about shauny’s adventures in spain
Happy Birthday Miss Shauna!
Hello. I am Miss Rhi. Shauny is my big sister.
BEAT THAT KIDDIES!!! Hee, Hee.
Happy birthday Shauny!
PS. Hello Mr TC. I remember your visit all those weekends ago. I think I made you apple & almond cake..mmmm.
Emily–college student in American South, help me escape to Europe!
I’m Andrew.
Outside I can see the ferries and cruise boats working a warm but greying Sydney Harbour.
Inside I can hear rattling glasses and calumping as people get organised to get really drunk to celebrate horses running anti-clockwise around a track.
Its The first Tuesday in November and the usual is happeing
I’m Piffy and I want to know if I Asshole will ever be back.
(Yes – I saw you up there SJ!)
It’s the burning question, piffy.
Fiona here, in the art room, hiding from my children.
Hi, I’m Smita…and I just saw Shauny’s picture in the ‘photos’ section. She rocks!
Me: Malcolm. Sorry missed your birthday. Happy birthday! (Ten words.)
Cate. French geek. Caffeinated. Tired of goddamn Fox News Channel.
(Was that ten? I have a migraine and have lost my ability to count, evidently. Hahaha, it’s ten.)
Two more words: Happy birthday.
Oh, thanks Rhi! Now I’m hungry for it again! You should sell that stuff on Amazon.
Eleanor: new mother, Canadian, living in Houston
I’m Sie and I’m boring.
I’m Mel. I like to read.
I’m Noreen, in Japan, looking forward to an aussie christmas!
I’m Rena and have no idea what’s going on here!
Wil in Maine (US), old phart, crazy curmudgeon, writer, unemployed.
And a Happy Birthday, Shauny.
Clearly I’ve checked in WAY too late… Happy Birthday Luvie!
I used to be anonymous. Call me not particularly anonymous.
ps. happy retrospective birthday.
I’m Vanessa. I’m stuck in the office not in Spain. So there….
I’m Robert. I need a new job, anywhere but here.
Jessica- cranky, mean people keep bothering me today. Help!
Hi. I am Shauny’s plant…..and there she goes again!
I am Kat and I haven’t slept for 48 hours!
I’m Marybeth and can’t shut up about just having met Dave Barry.
Hi – I’m Dave and I’m a Shaunaholic. So there!
Hi – I’m Sigga, a Shaunaholic living in London 🙂
Hi, I’m Amanda, I work on a Helpdesk… kill me
Hello my name is Jacob, I’m addicted too. [sits down and starts giggling nervously]
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go
out walking.
I’m Ellen-American, I vote and I hate republicans.
Hello – Fellow Aussie, partaying in Vegas in 2 weeks! Woohoo!
Hi, I’m Jane. I’m trying to turn 30 three years early.
I’m Kathryn and I have the day off work.. woohoo!
Howdy! I like chocolate.
i’m leah and i’m a grump after naps.
Hi, I’m Jason. I read Shauna when I should be working. Shes my fast track to the sack!
I’m Ariane and I hate signal processing.
I’m Sarah, I talk too much and can’t handle word-limits
Me: Procrastinator, perfectionist, laidback, creative, conversationalist, curious, non-conventional, amusing, honest, amiable.
I’m Michelle and I have until Wednesday off work!! Woohoo!! Oh…and I’m from Melbourne.
I’m Kerewin from Seattle and I just got back from Spain (damn Seattle rain!).
Hi Shauny! I’m Anna. I’m Tired. I’m from Adelaide.
I’m Lizz and I’ve been reading wnp for five years.
Or
I’m Lizz: I’ll be sacked for reading wnp at work
Or:
I’m Lizz. Damn Shauna and your many lovely holidays. Jealous!
I’m Monkey (hi all!) and I’m cranky that my internet connection’s been down all day.
I’m Rob, and I should really be studying.
I am me. Who are you?
(hey she said ten words OR LESS)
I’m Faith. The baby’s asleep. GO WILD! PARTY! YEE HAH!
I’m Rob. Another Rob. Not the one above. Nor Robert from above. There are two other Robs in my office too. When did Rob become such a common name? I’m Bob.
I’m Bushra, and I really need to keep up.
I’m Natasha, bored waiting for flight to UK then Montreal.
I’m Kirsten. Scottish long-haired green-eyed book-addicted black-clad French-speaking day-dreaming Shauny-phile.
(What, we aren’t allowed hyphenation? Blast.)
I’m cassie and I have a new job in one week!
My name is Ros. I’m an Australian living in London.
I’m Laura, I’m leaving London for Scotland in 3 weeks.
I’m Heather and I ate too much at lunchtime – am now fat bloater!
Yo homies, I got kicked in the taco this morning.
I’m Lisa, and I’ve got a raging cold right now…
Hola. Soy Soph. Soy australiana viviendo en Barcelona. Me encanta Shauny. Besos!
Hello I am Michelle and I won a trivia contest last night!!!
I won a frozen chook at Southport Drive-in once!? Bella.
I’m Richard and I lie sometimes and I can count
Stephene – an American living in Australia looking for a job.
soy holly. vivo en españa. soy de los estados unidos.
I’m Slackjaw, watching the wind with a cup of coffee.
I’m TC, I played a minor part in Shauny’s blog one weekend years ago, and am aghast at all the fun she’s having now.
i´m shauna (and gareth) in valencia and it´s 8pm and still 16 degrees!!!
(how many words is that!! OLE!)
hi i’m ika and i like to rant
Hi I’m Colin and I need a holiday.
I’m Callie, I wish I had exciting adventures too instead of my usual Saturday night.
I’m Witold and I would like to wish you a very happy Birthday!
I’m Anja and I should be cleaning right now
Shauny goes away too much. Come visit my site instead!
I’m nika, american, and going to London in 25 days!
All hail Witold! Happy birthday Shauny!
I’m Agnes and I have a sweet little secret.
I’m Dee. I can fart. Sometimes they smell. Not always.
I’m Jenny, and I’m being evicted from England in one month.
Snorks in Sydney, engineer, musician, dreamer. Happy Birthday Shauny.
i’m cara and i can’t wait to hear about shauny’s adventures in spain
Happy Birthday Miss Shauna!
Hello. I am Miss Rhi. Shauny is my big sister.
BEAT THAT KIDDIES!!! Hee, Hee.
Happy birthday Shauny!
PS. Hello Mr TC. I remember your visit all those weekends ago. I think I made you apple & almond cake..mmmm.
Emily–college student in American South, help me escape to Europe!
I’m Andrew.
Outside I can see the ferries and cruise boats working a warm but greying Sydney Harbour.
Inside I can hear rattling glasses and calumping as people get organised to get really drunk to celebrate horses running anti-clockwise around a track.
Its The first Tuesday in November and the usual is happeing
I’m Piffy and I want to know if I Asshole will ever be back.
(Yes – I saw you up there SJ!)
It’s the burning question, piffy.
Fiona here, in the art room, hiding from my children.
Hi, I’m Smita…and I just saw Shauny’s picture in the ‘photos’ section. She rocks!
Me: Malcolm. Sorry missed your birthday. Happy birthday! (Ten words.)
Cate. French geek. Caffeinated. Tired of goddamn Fox News Channel.
(Was that ten? I have a migraine and have lost my ability to count, evidently. Hahaha, it’s ten.)
Two more words: Happy birthday.
Oh, thanks Rhi! Now I’m hungry for it again! You should sell that stuff on Amazon.
Eleanor: new mother, Canadian, living in Houston
I’m Sie and I’m boring.
I’m Mel. I like to read.
I’m Noreen, in Japan, looking forward to an aussie christmas!
I’m Rena and have no idea what’s going on here!
Wil in Maine (US), old phart, crazy curmudgeon, writer, unemployed.
And a Happy Birthday, Shauny.
Clearly I’ve checked in WAY too late… Happy Birthday Luvie!
I used to be anonymous. Call me not particularly anonymous.
ps. happy retrospective birthday.