Continental Drifter

Recently a kind person had linked to this here site and called it a "travel blog". I liked how sexy and glamourous that sounded, and thought very smugly, "Why, woohoo. Indeed it is a travel blog. Long gone are the days of blogging about death, depression and supermarkets!"

But then I wondered if I had earned the title of "travel blog", and even though I am allergic to numbers I came up with some exciting statistics.

Out of the 557 days since I left Australia, I've been on the road for just 46 of them. This figure had to be fattened up with the inclusion the Mothership Visit, the night in Tongue and the involuntary Bristol stopover. What a fraud!

This blog is not an accurate reflection of how my days are spent. Where are the posts about kicking photocopiers, silent farts at the gym, failing to learn Spanish or staring down at my flatmate's tub of Lurpak butter for ten minutes trying to choose my Angle of Approach so she won't notice I've nicked some for my toast again?

There's certainly not enough posts about my weekend job at Geriatric Rescue. In the 279 days thus far of 2004, I have worked a total of 42 days at that place. I'm quietly confidient that 42 divided by 7 is 6, so this means I have spent SIX WEEKS at that hell hole this year, over 50% of total weekend time. That's not very Hip Young Traveller, is it?

My idea of a Travel Blogger is an unwashed youth writing entries on beer coasters or the bare buttocks of Swedish chicks then fashioning a laptop computer out of a stack of Lonely Planets, a transistor radio and string to transmit their tales of debauchery to the world. As opposed to a bumbling moron who worries they are boring everyone to death and spends their weekends getting yelled at by old ladies.

Last shift one called up just to tell me she had two bags of dirty laundry.

"What are you going to do about it? I'm old!" she said. "I've NAE KNICKERS, hen!"

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

Find out more about me and how we can work together – I’m now booking for October 2021.

13 thoughts on “Continental Drifter

  1. I, as always, am highly amused by your entry. My desire to post a comment, however, is fulled by the fact I noticed there were 8888 delightful comments and I felt an overpowering urge to disrupt that symmetry.

    I truly have not enough going on in my life 🙂 I also need to evaluate my use of punctuation, I suspect…

  2. having become everything I always dreaded, a-boring-old-fart-of-a-stay-at-home-mum, I’m really suprised by other people’s perceptions. Maybe its not WHAT you do but how you perceive it that matters? You THINK you have a travel blog, then you DO have a travelblog. Apparently there is someone out there who thinks I’m a jetsetting freelancer, I tend to focus on this while wiping the poo from the walls.

  3. Shauny,

    You, boring? Come on – your entries are a highly entertaining part of my day (then again, what does that say about my life!). Surely you realise that the most mundane things are often the source of the funniest comedy. You put some so-called newspaper ‘humour’ columnists to shame. So, bring on “Tales from Geriatric Rescue”. We’re waiting…


  4. Let’s face it, you’ve got a bloody great hit ratio with your posts. I was thinking about this the other night, and decided if I was buttonholed at some do and ordered to name the Great Australian Weblog, gauging it on longevity combined with quality, I think this one’d be way up the top.

    And I say, thank the heavens you haven’t succumbed to the ennui that’s caused many a fine blogger to throw it in…

  5. I, too, am always amused by your posts. Being from the USA (New Orleans, LA) your language intrigues me and the Mothership stories make me laugh so hard I almost pee on myself! I am also very envious of your sister stories as I only have a brother who lives far away.

  6. For goodness sake girl isn’t the whole point of writing a blog that you can present yourself however you like.
    I’m sure there’s some Phd student toiling away on their dissertation at this very minute dependant on every word you write to use as primary research.

  7. I worked for Scottish Gas (as it was in 1996) in Edinburgh on the phones and I once had an elderly lady call up because her gas has been turned off (I worked in the debt recovery section). She was adamant (Adam Ant?) that an engineer had to call out to her house to fix it (as opposed to just putting more money on her gas card) and tried everything to get one out there. Finally, she pulled her trump card – “You got tae get the gas man out t’me, Ah’m 83, Ah’ve got nae gas, and Ah’ve only got ONE BREAST!!”

  8. arrrgh

    this entry came out all wrong
    i was just taking the mickey out of myself really.
    coz it just seems so silly and surreal to me to be blogging about travelling to these places when my brain still feels like it is back in oz sitting on my lazy arse

    and just pondering how odd it is how things change, how you change… blah blah blah

    ahh nevermind!

  9. anyway it really did come out wrong. now i read it again and it sounds like a fishing expedition, yikes. i just wanted to share my amazing statistics really 🙂

    never blog while overtired.

    thanks fer being kind tho! yer all deadest legends.

    btw chris that is a tops story 🙂

  10. I just want to say thank you for commenting on my site! I absolutely love your writing and you are hilarious. I think that Viscount are scrumptious, my friend has brought them to me on occasion. But dead beetle! That would be awful.
    Also I like your poncho analysis; thank goodness it was a quick trend and they are now definitely out. I am very much a plaid mini wearer, but not stupid enough to don a poncho WITH my plaid mini! Insanity. The plaid and the poncho material would clash.

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