Triple Tested

My latest bout of homesickness has come in the form of compulsive purchasing of Australian Women’s Weekly Cookbooks. I have read Muffins, Scones and Bread about fifteen times now and it still makes me misty-eyed. In this age of verbose Nigellas and irritating Jamies, there’s something simple and so darn sensible about step-by-step instructions, no fuss photography and precise measurements. You can be safe in the knowledge that every recipe has been triple-tested in the famous ACP Test Kitchen under Kerry Packer’s watchful eye and gelatinous jowls. And how can you go wrong when it’s edited by someone called Pamela Clarke? Is there a more trustworthy, wholesome name than Pamela Clarke? Florence Nightingale or Mother Theresa, perhaps.

Now I’ve started watching the cricket. I’ve always had a deep loathing for cricket, the way it hogged the television during summer holidays and stopped me from watching Days Of Our Lives. But because it’s The Ashes and my native people have come to Britain, it’s suddenly become interesting. Mostly because if an Aussie gets out or does something crap, everyone at work asks gleefully, “What HAPPENED Marshy?” as if I was the bloody selector and personally responsible for every ball.

So I swotted up at the BBC’s Sport Academy so I could fake a knowledge of cricket beyond Those Blokes On The Weet-Bix Ads. The site explains all the rules and the jargon, so before long I knew what the guy in the oven gloves did and could then smugly answer questions from fellow cricket-virgin Gareth as if I’d known all along.

The end of the Second Test was magnificent. I could hardly believe I was wasting a rare sunny Scottish Sunday morning watching blokes in pyjamas grabbing their balls, but it was a true nail-biter. Gareth was hooked too, and asked afterwards, “Is cricket always this exciting?”.

Apparently not. The commentators who seemed about to explode in their sensible slacks said it was one of The Most Thrilling Test Matches EVAH. So I don’t know if I’ll become a cricket fan, but I have a newfound respect for the sport and the team that so many of my countryfolk are obsessed with.

Take Shane Warne for example, who not only performed brilliantly in the Second Test, apparently tried to arrange a threesome with his wife and one of his squeezes in order to save his marriage. Forget self-help books and poncy counsellors, that’s a genius idea! My marriage is still going strong but I might ask Gareth if he’s up for one as a preventative measure.

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

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14 thoughts on “Triple Tested

  1. somehow there was an entry added to my MT Blacklist that basically banned… EVERYTHING! so apologies if you attempted to comment today and it rejected you!

  2. Ah Shane Warne, a dinky di true blue Aussie.

    An eejit, but true blue.

    I saw him smoking a fag and making a phone call while filling up his BMW in a St Kilda servo*.

    Genius stuff.

    Also he was being sponsored by Nicorette to quit the fags for the princely sum of three quaters of a million bucks.

    So the “three way might save my marraige” marks a high watermark for the lad.

  3. A couple of years ago I finally got hooked on football (or soccer as we have to call it here in the States), but the cricket? Still baffling to me.

  4. The Aussie boys have a bit of answering to do on and off the field it would seem – glad you enjoyed Sunday’s match.

    I spent my sunny Sunday morning eating Vegemite toast and reading the newspapers and who should I see smiling up at me from the paper? None other than Shauny and Gareth!

    A great article, and congratulations on all your achievements. Look forward to checking out the hardcopy of your adventures, soon perhaps?

  5. The cricket is being shown on SBS over here and they’re getting fantastic ratings!

    I’ve never got into the cricket at all. The only time I enjoyed the game was when I went to see a day/night game at VFL Park. And that was a long time ago!

    Doesn’t everyone have a set of Australian Womens Weekly Cookbooks on their shelf? I think most of mine came as birthday/christmas presents just after I got married! Still love the recipes and the big colourful pictures that you can check to make sure that yours looks the same as theirs as you’re making it!

  6. Yes, I want to know about the article and about all your achievements! Share with us, Shauny!!

  7. As a kiwi in oz, I get the same thing about the rugby.

    In fact, living in Adelaide where they only show or talk about ‘footy’ (Australian rules football), the only way I know how the rugby is going is from silence (NZ won) or comments (Aust won) the next day.

  8. I’ve never seen the word “thrilling” in conjunction with “cricket” before. It still sound weird in my ears

  9. I have only recently gotten into the cricket as well, and I am loving it – I find it far more exciting than rugby – I can’t believe I’ve missed out on so many years of cricketing excitement!

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