I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday. Since they’re quite light in colour I tend to neglect them until one morning I’ll peer close in the mirror and notice they’ve gone feral beyond the reaches of plucking. Anyway, yesterday I was attended to by a perky lass named Lynette, and I knew instinctively I shouldn’t trust someone so perky. Now my eyebrows are ridiculously thin and arched like a cartoon villian. I turned to my husband for reassurance.
SHAUNA: Do my eyebrows look funny to you?
S: I knew it! She butchered me!
G: You look like the Mercedes!
G: Jeremey Clarkson said on Top Gear that the headlights of the new Mercedes look like a woman whose had a banana shoved up her arse.
S: Just GREAT! I look permanently surprised!
G: Don’t worry. People will just see you walking round and think you’re REALLY AMAZED by Australia!