This blog is like a dinky little country town where the population never changes. Some people die, some new ones are born to replace them; and now and then a few strangers breeze in from the city and the locals look up from their beers and give them the stink eye.
But thanks to the infrequent updates, the overall number always evens out beautifully in the end. It’s been pretty stable for years now, except for that one glorious day in 2002 when the lovely Dooce made me a member of her fantasy all girl blog-rock band and the hit counter crapped itself.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the population of this wee metropolis. Do you ever wonder where internet people go? You meet so many interesting characters through the old computer screen, but so many end up disappearing into the ether. Every now and then an old ‘face’ will just pop into your head. Sometimes you’ll remember fondly, other times you cringe. Either way you wonder what happened to them. Whether they got bald or rich or hitched or if they legally changed their name to ~DarkWolfe75~.
I think about Commenters of Yesteryear and why they went quiet. Did they go offline for good? Did I offend them? Did they stop reading when I sold out and got married? Or are they still reading, but being all quiet and lurkersome about it?
I also think about the Real World People. Back in Oz last year, I was alarmed to hear all these friends and family say breezily, “Oh yes, I’ve been reading for years!”. What?! How did you find me? Who taught you to use Google? How could you not tell me that you’d discovered my sad, secret internerd life?
So when I add up the Real Life People and the Regular Commenters, there’s still a lot of people unaccounted for. Which makes me worry, are there more Real Life People out there? Perhaps they’re among the masses who stumble in having searched for ‘trampoline sex’, ‘accounting love letter’ or ‘Pall Mall Monopoly pronouncement’, then realise they’re arrived at the site of that moron they used to know.
If you’re out there, why not say hello? Just send an email with a memory-jogging subject like:
- Remember me from Brownies?
- Remember that time I loaned you two dollars for the canteen?
- Remember how you were the worst piano student ever?
- Remember how you were an inarticulate dope at university?
- Remember when we worked at KFC and we got it on in the storeroom and there was flour and secret herbs and spices flying all over the place?
OH YEAH, that one only happened in my head. Just don’t email to say how much this entry sucks, because I already know 🙂