I left my hat on the train today. This was a devastating turn of events, not because it was a particularly sexy hat but because it was one of the few hats in the world that actually managed to cover my enormous fat head.

So I spent two hours stomping up and down Princes Street in search of a replacement. It gets rather humiliating after you’ve wrestled the twenty-seventh bit of wool onto your scone only for it to ping off across the room. Stinking winter. When I lived in Australia I never felt the cold enough to need a stinking winter hat.

Then again if I was back in Australia I’d be having an even more frustrating time trying to find a summer bonnet that didn’t make me look like a farmer. At least if you have a shit hat in Scotland, it’s usually dark outside so no one can see how ridiculous you look.

I finally settled on a beret but I could tell the Jenners lady doubted it would work from the way she looked from the hat to my head to the hat to my head again. “Just so you know miss,” she said primly, “We don’t do returns on these.”

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8 thoughts on “Noggin

  1. so i posted this on saturday morning coz i didn’t get home til midnight last night so i know that’s against the rules so GO AHEAD, dob on me, if you must!


  2. Oh I too had a beret moment last night (and I too can never find hats to fit). I tried on my friend’s and said “how does this look?”, laughing. She kind of looked at me. Crestfallen, I said “Not good, is it?”. “No,” she replied.

    At least she was honest…

    Later she was also honest about pale pink not being my best colour… friends, huh.

  3. I have this theory that women’s hats have more potential for disaster than bad hair days – except that a lot of women don’t realise that. There’s a LOT of bad hats out there.


    …so not a drover’s hat then? 😉

    Scott F 🙂

  4. i thought you must be celebrating cup day in sympathy. Hats all over the shops this week here.

  5. I know the feeling of having a slightly larger than average head. I wear a cheap chennile hat that has a rolled/stuffed brim which keeps my glasses a little drier when it rains or snows.

    I’d like to get a hat made from a fox skin that I have. Erik shot the fox in Wodonga yonks ago when we were dinks living in Canberra. There is a shop here in Tartu that can make any kind of hat you can think of, & where I’m sure you’d find something you’d like.

  6. I also suffer from Big-head Syndrome.

    Although, I can’t tell if it’s due to a large cranium or just a whole lot of poofy hair!

  7. I have a small head, but am yet to find a hat that looks OK (and not as though I’m bald) with my hair tied back.

  8. Wow, either I imagined I posted a comment here, or I did and my giggling at Jenners was so inappropriate it was wiped!
    I guess I’ve been put in my place good and proper then.
    Sorry if I offended…I’ll climb back in my dog house now… 🙁

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