Headache No. 1 came from slamming my head in the car door. I'd opened the door and was sliding onto the front seat with a bag of groceries when my foot slipped. POW! The right side of my noggin smacked hard against the side of the car, which was unfortunate enough. But alas, at the same time my left hand happened to be pulling the door shut. POW! The door thwacked into the left side of the head. Just to even things up.
I've seen cartoon characters getting smashed with a pair of cymbals by their arch rivals; it looked a lot like that. Except more industrial. And because I inflicted the damage myself, it was a hoot. Gareth almost wept from laughter. And so did I, until it turned into searing tears of PAIN.
So this may have contributed to Headache No. 2 – Filling out my permanent residency application for the stinking Home Office. It's all been sent away now and I'm praying I didn't make any errors while mildly concussed. I shall find out in 4 – 12 weeks.
One question in the form intrigued me:
"Have you or any dependants included in this application ever been involved in acts of committing, preparing, financing or instigating terrorism or acts of encouraging or inducing others to commit, prepare or instigate terrorism, or the attempt of any such acts, either within or outside the UK? Or have you or any dependants included in this application ever been a member or supporter of an organisation which has perpetrated or supported acts of terrorism in furtherance of its aims?"
I know they've got to ask these things, but I wonder if anyone has ever actually ticked the YES box then sent the application in? Yes sir, I am a terrorist, and here's my cheque for £335!
Incidentally, if you've fallen in love with a British citizen, may I suggest you hurry the hell up and apply for your visa before 2nd April, as the already heartbreaking fees are set to rise. It's proposed that Indefinite Leave to Remain, aka permanent residency, will leap from £335 to £750 for postal applications, and £500 to £950 if you want to apply in person. OWW. The price of love ain't cheap, baby! But as you gaze at your British beloved as he heats up a tin of Tesco Value Baked Beans with a single match, you'll know it was worth it.
Likewise I was looking forward to applying for British citizenship next year, but that's set to rise from £200 to £575. I guess if you're not tempted by the right to vote and the right to a snazzy passport with a lion and a thingy on it, you could always just remain a permanent resident. You will always have the right to pay TAX, and that is a joy in itself!