Bungle Bungled

GARETH:  So when you get deported back to Australia do you think they'll put you in one of those detention camps?

SHAUNA: They don't put you in a camp for going back to your own country!

G: Yeah they do! I bet there's a special Detention Camp for Ejected Spouses. Somewhere remote like Broome. Or the Bungle Bungles!

S:  Did you learn all your Australian geography from Neighbours?

G:  They'll make you eat grubs and berries! But I'm sure they'll let you out now and then to paint some landscapes.

S:  Will you visit me?

G:  Hmmm… maybe once a year. Until the novelty wears off. Then we'll slowly drift apart.

Thanks, dear comrades, for tolerating my Entry o' Insanity last week. The situation is so stupid that we can almost laugh about it now. What else can you do? The fact remains we're genuinely married, so this is just an extremely annoying blip along the road to proving it.

I have put in four years of wholehearted law-abiding tax-paying residency so slinking back to Australia is not an option. So we shall deal with things as calmly as possible and/or bombard them with more evidence until they surrender. If they don't, there's lawyers and appeal processes.

And if it comes down to some sort of Green Card-ish interview, I say BRING IT ON. I'm a far more convincing actress than Andie stinking MacDowell.

The Bungle Bungles of Western Australia

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

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29 thoughts on “Bungle Bungled

  1. It is my new lifetime ambition (as of one minute ago) to visit the Bungle Bungles, just so I can say I’ve been.

    I’m glad you’re feeling better! But it wasn’t insanity to be upset — it IS extremely annoying and upsetting even though it’s not personal and will all get sorted out.

    (Eating berries might be quite nice, though. Not so sure about grubs. Do they go well with feta?)

  2. Intimate Marital Act? What, like telling him to pick his undies up off the floor?


    My Canadian partner and my lil’ ol’ aussie self are dreading having to go through this petty form-filling in Australia in a year or so… You have my sympathy.

  3. A piece of MEAT is a far more convincing actress than Andie MacDowell.

    Good luck with the process. I know it will all work out! xo

  4. I sympathise, as I go through this process once a year with the stupid documents etc what did you have for breakfast in Israel, until they finally give me citizenship.

    This is just a thought – surely both your blogs count as a huge amount of documented evidence? You talked about Gareth in the other one for ages. Or are the british too stuffy to look at, a, what did you say? a blog?

  5. Mate, I’m a more convincing actress than Andie McDowell.

    And I look like the old captain of the irish rugby team Keith Wood.

  6. Oooh.

    What a shame Gran, er, Helen has passed on. She could have lent you her pastels… or perhaps you are more into charcoal or lino cuts?

  7. I love that movie, despite Andie MacDowell’s performance. Peter Weir is one of my favourite film makers and blah blah blah.

    My point is that I always wonder what my husband and I would say about one another if we had to prove that our marriage was real. Because sometimes he asks me things like “where do we keep the new rolls of toilet paper?” and I wonder if he has actually spent the last ten years in this house with me.

  8. “So when you get deported back to Australia” — err, no, sorry Shauna.

    You won’t make it as far as Australia. Nauru or Christmas Island is the best you can hope for.

  9. aww let us have some poetic licence with our pretend deportation! the bungle bungles are far more interesting than xmas island πŸ˜›

  10. Look on the bright side: if you’re on Christmas Island, you don’t have to pay GST. Damn freeloading Christmas Island bastards.

  11. an ex house mate of mine in Melbourne , one Wayne Woods of South Carolina, overstayed by about a year and when he tried to leave the country was arresdted and the next we heard from him was a very distressed Wayne calling from Woomera detention camp.

    We did laugh rather. He was alright in the end, just not allowed back to oz ever.

  12. Our most convincing evidence in my husband’s green card interview was pictures of our newborn son. Just an idea…. πŸ˜‰

    We also included wedding pictures, a mortgage loan with both of our names on it, pictures of us together visiting family, and that kind of thing.

    Best of luck, Shauna. It’s a real, legit marriage and I know you’ll convince them in the end!

  13. What can I say about them turning you down:


    As for the Green Card interview:

    “…yes, and you wouldn’t believe that he’s got a mole right on his…”


    You can just imagine proving it!

    Scott F πŸ™‚
    PS: Don’t go – Scotland needs you πŸ˜‰

  14. Bugger em Shauny! Come on home to ‘Straya’ and bring the Scottish boy with you. I’m sure that we can fit one more Scot into the country.

    Or …

    Contact Billy Connelly and ask him how he and Pammie managed their application. I’m sure he’d regale you with clever ways of beating the system.

    Hang in there. Like the doctor said just prior to my kidney stone operation, “this too will pass.”

  15. There was a guy in our school in Scotland from Christmas Island. I assume that everyone from Christmas Island who is not actually living on the island is nicknamed ‘Santa’ like ours was, though I have no proof.

  16. Felt bad for being possibly flippant. Only because I cannot imagine they could possibly chuck you out – though I know that’s easy to say. I think the idea about using this blog as evidence is a very good one! But seriously, you’ll be fine. It’s a pain up the arse and worrying but you’ll get through it. Though what’s so amazing about getting to stay in Scotland I’m not sure… πŸ˜‰

  17. Shauna when you posted your last entry I wondered about the blog as evidence route too, but really, why should you have to waste your beautiful blog on such obvious philistines? Surely they’ll have to admit sooner or later.

    I was in a taxi last week which was playing Melbourne’s most bogan radio station. the DJs were discussing the news that Snoop Dogg has been banned from entering Australia and listeners were invited to ring in and say what countries they had been banned from. A topless dancer called to say she had gotten the wrong sort of visa for Japan and so ended up in a detention place there for six days, which in her opinion sucked since she had to sleep on a mat on the tatami floor. “I get really annoyed when people complain about Aussie detention centres, because our detention centres are the best in the world.” The DJ said “David Hicks had it easy mate!” And she said “Yeah, that’s what I reckon.”

    So there you have it – Aussie detention centres are the best in the world.

  18. i reckon send them this link blog just delete the post about the food and the weather πŸ˜›

    don’t forget we deport our own citizens when they are living in the country. who else does those crazy things???

  19. well if they dont wantcha, theyre shtoopid.

    I’ll come visit you in detention, bungles or otherwise. I shall bring biscuits.

  20. better make em anzacs, fifi. hehe πŸ™‚

    laura – EXACTLY!! if they can’t count that i had the correct no. of documents, i can’t expect them to read and comprehend something as complex as my blogging. mwahaha πŸ˜›

    that tatami story is hilarious!!!

    The B – don’t worry about being flippant! flippancy is fine by me!

    cheers for the comments comrades!!

  21. For those who are interested: Australia has recently come to an agreement with the US that so-called illegal asylum seekers who get to Australia (ie end up on Christmas I sland) will be swapped with so-called illegal entrants to the US from Cuba.
    It’s one of those surreal developments that make you wonder what sort of country Australia is now.
    One way of looking at it tho, and it makes it all the more a strange idea, is that for many people at risk of persecution in their own country ending up in the good old US of A is quite a desirable outcome.
    Might some see this as a way to get to the States without a Green Card?

  22. I have to second Pamela here. The difference between the hell of our applications in the Netherlands and the rubber-stamping-fast-tracking Australian version was the existence of our then 18-month-old-son.

    Hint, hint! πŸ˜‰

  23. Ok, then, that’s a consensus. A baby. I can’t persuade any of my lot to make me a granny yet, so it’s up to you. You owe to Scotland. Or Australia. Or somewhere.

  24. yes, well, I must say I have been disturbed by the thought of my favourite internet reading matter turning into one of those tiresome mummyblogs…
    but, hey, this is a matter of international importance. Go forth and multiply dear girl.

  25. This residency status thing seems to be a bit of a lottery. If a bureaucrat who’s having a bad day puts a query on your file, it stays there.
    It’s the only explanation. So many tax-dodging/criminal immigrants get to live here with no problem at all. I’ve met several, so there must be a lot of others out there.

  26. ha ha! no bairns. not in the foreseeable future anyway.

    btw folks, the visa app is back with the HO now, complete with 58 pieces of evidence. if that ain’t enough, i will scream!

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