GARETH: So when you get deported back to Australia do you think they'll put you in one of those detention camps?
SHAUNA: They don't put you in a camp for going back to your own country!
G: Yeah they do! I bet there's a special Detention Camp for Ejected Spouses. Somewhere remote like Broome. Or the Bungle Bungles!
S: Did you learn all your Australian geography from Neighbours?
S: Will you visit me?
G: Hmmm… maybe once a year. Until the novelty wears off. Then we'll slowly drift apart.
Thanks, dear comrades, for tolerating my Entry o' Insanity last week. The situation is so stupid that we can almost laugh about it now. What else can you do? The fact remains we're genuinely married, so this is just an extremely annoying blip along the road to proving it.
I have put in four years of wholehearted law-abiding tax-paying residency so slinking back to Australia is not an option. So we shall deal with things as calmly as possible and/or bombard them with more evidence until they surrender. If they don't, there's lawyers and appeal processes.
And if it comes down to some sort of Green Card-ish interview, I say BRING IT ON. I'm a far more convincing actress than Andie stinking MacDowell.
The Bungle Bungles of Western Australia