Wet and Wild

FATHER-IN-LAW:  Gareth, I need Shauna’s mobile number.


FATHER-IN-LAW:  So I can text her to tell her that I got her email.

GARETH:  Why don’t you just reply – och, never mind.

. . .

I tell you what’s creepy – jumpers with faux shirt collars attached to them. Because it’s just soooo much effort to put a real shirt on underneath, isn’t it. I saw this one, entitled “Phillippa”, in Monsoon the other day and her disembodied collar made me shiver. What if they turned up the heating at work and you whipped off your top, forgetting about the fakery and giving your colleagues an eyeful?

. . .

We now have a SHOWER! Gareth and his pal Steve built it with their own two hands. Four hands, actually. After three years of washing my hair with a mug of water and not once even remotely bitching about it I can now rinse with dazzling speed and accuracy. Everyone keeps saying, “Ooh I bet you’re under there for hours now” but I still can’t bring myself to stay longer than a few minutes. If I dare indulge in anything more than a brief dampening of the limbs, I expect The Mothership to pound on the door, “Get out of that bloody shower, there’s a drought on!”


About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

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16 thoughts on “Wet and Wild

  1. Hey Shauna, off topic but you must be chuffed that Julia Gillard – fellow bloodnut – has just been sworn in as Deputy Prime Minister of Australia.

  2. Ohhh I am so with you on this…we lived out in the sticks and my Mum used to time us and pound on the door when we were in there too long. Now I’m living in town with town water & married to a guy who never had to think about tank water and I can’t bring myself to shower anywhere as long as he does all because of the door pounding way back when 🙂

  3. Yeah I like the mock jumper shirt things too – means that I can wear them and look Sort Of Professional in more than one season of the year. And you don’t get stuff riding up in weird places.

  4. Two years with dwindling tank water in Hervey Bay and now I live in a trailer where our water is included in the rent. So, strictly speaking, I could shower for however long I want to, but, like you, my history interferes with my present. Sigh. Baths are good though!

  5. ha ha ha….

    I told the cousin in london to SACK the cleaner, because she LEFT THE TAP ON ALMOST ALL DAY. Even if it was just a dribble. i was hysterical.

    theres a drought on, you know.

  6. 🙂 nice one fifi!

    Ramon – Oh yes! It’s all part of the Ginger Master Plan to take over the planet 🙂

    Marshy/Bushra – Shirts are weird aren’t they, no matter what size I’ve been I still can’t wear em. Just feel too stiff and stuffy. Feels like I am back at school again!

    Bushra, there is some weirdness with your comments… it posted at midnight then three more times seven hours later, i just left the original one there!

  7. You should definitely try one of the fake collar sweaters… way more comfy because they are less bulky… great for work! And they aren’t as weird as the “dickies” my Mom used to wear back in the day… who names a piece of clothing “dickey”? Nuts!

  8. I have to go with the fake collar myself…when you’re big or busty…or both, real button downs don’t work…they get all weird and pully at the buttons and then to add insult to injury you have to put another article of clothing over it to make you feel extra lumpy and bumpy…no thanks, I’ll go with faux anytime.

    And yes, Ginger World Domination!

  9. well, faux collar lovers, you have opened my eyes. i never considered the practical reasons! i did used to hate that shirt-bunching-up-under-sweater feeling…

  10. Well now. I have never liked the idea of the fake collars either, but maybe I’ve been wrong all along.

    I just wouldn’t like not being able to wear the jumper WITHOUT the collar.

  11. HUR fake collars! I remember when they came out with those for little kids, and I was like, eh, okay, who would make a little kid wear real tidy layers anyway.

    But this…might as well cross over and get yourself a DICKIE! Hur!

  12. In the village where I stayed in France, the taps in the street had no handles to turn them off – they just ran all the time. Even though it was creek water diverted through the village and coming out the other end, I still couldn’t help feeling a momentry flash of outrage and an overwhelming desire to turn them off whenever I walked past them.

  13. Actually, I like the Faux Shirt idea for one reason only. Line-dried properly, they require a mere 20 seconds of ironing. Faux cuffs? Check. Faux Collar? Check. Ready for work!

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