Lady in grey

The other day I was slapping some sunscreen on my face when a pair of furry EARS rose up from behind the mirror frame.

The tall mirror, unhung six months after moving in, was leaning against the side of the trusty brown IKEA Malm drawers. On top of the drawers was an open box of Dietgirl paperbacks that I’ve been meaning to deal with for some time. And on top of the Dietgirls sat the evil fluffy cat from next door.

Stink eye cat

He must have come in through the bathroom window and ducked upstairs when I wasn’t looking. He gave me a scornful look when I shrieked in surprise. Then he turned around and nestled back down into the box. I told him to rack off but he just hissed then purred aggressively. So I took a couple of photos, then he went to sleep for half an hour.

Then he woke up, gave me another “what are you looking at?” look before scuttling off downstairs and back out the window, leaving me the books with as much fluff outside as in.

Speaking of the Malm, I have developed a funereal clothing situation. Despite The Mothership’s investment in Getting My Colours Done, somehow over the past few years my wardrobe has reverted to dreary, prison-like shades. Navy, black, grey, brown.

It wasn’t a conscious thing, but now it is clear that as I went through that gloomy, gradual relardification period, I slowly replaced my colourfuls with Don’t Notice Me items. I didn’t clock how bad it had become until a few weeks ago, our friends visited and we all stayed at a pub for the night. The next morning I went to put on the grey top I’d packed, only to find it was actually grey tracky dacks, because I’d grabbed the wrong piece of blah from the Malm.

Also, I’m constantly losing items of clothing, because they all blur together in the drawer. It’s always a frenzy of cotton before my walks as I can never find The Black T-Shirt For Exercise as opposed to The Black T-Shirt For Leaving The House or The Black T-Shirt For Sleeping In. Made worse by having black IKEA Malm compartment thingies and a black laundry basket.

After the Grey Tracky Dacks incident I said to Gareth, “Have you noticed that my clothes are grim as fuck?”

And he said, “Oh yeah. You’re like one of those grannies in mourning.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought maybe it was a look you were going for?”

Now that I’ve finally noticed the mourning wardrobe, it is bloody awful! At some point it must have been working for me – the outsides matched the insides. But it’s no longer where I’m at. I’m taking good care of myself; my health and fitness is back on track. Life is pretty cool! I can’t just go replace everything, so I’ve started by dusting off the bright lipsticks and scarves, and I bought a tomato red handbag on eBay that is pure JOY every time I look at it. Bring on the technicolor.

Gee, what colour trackies should we wear today!?
Gee, what colour trackies should we wear today!?

About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m Shauna, an author, copywriter and content mentor. I love telling stories about life and helping others to tell theirs.

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36 thoughts on “Lady in grey

  1. I was about to be all encouraging and good-for-you-ish and then I realised that you’d called a nice fluffy cat “evil” so I won’t. Shame on you! (But jolly good all the same for your positive attitude and red handbag.)

    Mind you, speaking as a granny… I might sue Gareth for grannyism…

    1. He is evil! Last time he sneaked inside the bathroom window, I shooed him back out. He sat on the window ledge outside and when I went to close the window, he reached up and swatted my arm with his claws oot! Blood was shed πŸ˜› He is not a nice cat at all. Look at those eyes. Plotting things, I tell ya!

      1. In case anyone wonders why I don’t keep the window shut, it is a dark house and you need to air out the bathroom awhile after a shower otherwise it’s mould-o-rama!

        1. Window screen? Or would he shred it with his claws? I have cats of my own and I would not be happy about random cats wandering my house.

          The good news with the wardrobe is that all that grey and black, any color you get will really pop. How about a nice rosy scarf?

          I really wish you could get Gwynnie Bee there. They have done wonders for my wardrobe.

  2. Noooooh! He’s not evil …he’s sweet and clearly thought, “What’s new Pussycat?” However you may not be alone with the grey/black varying shades thereof…..and the packing malfunction??? it’s a bugger when it happens!

  3. We have the same dresser! Us and a million other people, right? Mine’s birch veneer which is great because you can’t see all the dust that collects on it πŸ™‚

      1. Grim as Fuck….almost as good as “Faded Glory”, a clothing line for mature women I saw at Walmart in Albuquerque circa 2007.

  4. I totally get it. I’m the same. I just bought a bunch of clothes online and when I was checking out, I scrolled through my virtual shopping cart and realized every single item I bought was black, charcoal or navy. Navy was the “bright” color. I went back and added some colorful tops…it’ll be awhile before I put something bright on my behind! Love the last paragraph of wanting something to reflect the way you feel on the inside. Good for you! PS I can’t believe you actually organize your clothes in those fabric IKEA sorting compartments. I’m impressed!

    1. I confess I tidied them up for the photo πŸ˜€

      Colourful tops… that sounds like a good place to start!

  5. Haha! This really rang a bell this morning! My drawers are FULL of shapeless, dull, jersey-fabric tops (some of which look particularly hideous because they’re too short on the body? ya know?) and I just seem to keep wearing them. And then I feel rubbish all day. And I can’t seem to junk them, I don’t know why! Because, you know, I might *need*/want to look/feel really rubbish one day?

    1. Because, you know, I might *need*/want to look/feel really rubbish one day?

      Oh I love that, Liz πŸ™‚

  6. Wooop! Yay for colour! And #teamginger totally rock the jewel colours (I also got my colours done but never blogged about it because of The Shame).

    1. FUCK YEAH JEWEL COLOURS! Love them πŸ™‚

      (I hear you on The Shame! I actually got my Colours Done a second time, in London as opposed to Canberra Exhibition Centre, and it was sooooo good but I was too shame jobbed to write about it πŸ˜‰ )

  7. I love the colours blog post… “At one end of the spectrum we had dirt brown, which wandered along into cack brown, cack green, khaki, diluted mud and so on to BEIGE.” I was assigned these colours years ago when Mum dragged my sister and I along to “get our colours done”.

    As for this comment, “He is evil! Last time he sneaked inside the bathroom window, I shooed him back out. He sat on the window ledge outside and when I went to close the window, he reached up and swatted my arm with his claws oot!”, it took me a while to realise you weren’t talking about Gareth.

  8. “He caaame in throuuuuugh the bathroom windowwwww…” Second time today that that song has come up. Must listen to Abbey Road again soon.

  9. You and I must be on the same schedule of feeling bad or feeling good. I also finally feel like getting my nutritional act together after just not caring for some months. Must be seasonal. But glad to hear that you are finally emerging back into color!

  10. My wardrobe is just the same….my color coded closet only has two colors…black and clothes formally known as black……also as for the Dietgirl paperbacks, I already own a copy but I confess I would love to have a signed copy if you want to be free of one! Just a thought!

    1. I was going to sell them at a bargainous price last Christmas but lost my nerve! Now they are all furry… you can have one if you like? Would just need some £££ for postage πŸ™‚

  11. I am a black/white/gray gal. I don’t know if it was the “black is slimming” idea that started it, or if I’m just more comfortable. I do think I like to blend into the background. I don’t like to stand out. It’s a bit of an inside joke with hubby and I anyway though … my husband’s name is Grayson Blackham. Gray Black is what I call him. I tease that I always wear gray/black to feel like he’s always with me (ha ha) …

    I just bought some pink shoes … yikes!

  12. Red cross body bag – you found the perfect one! πŸ™‚
    And on behalf of the cat, he is not evil, he is just misunderstood…

  13. β€œI thought maybe it was a look you were going for?”


    The accessories are definitely a cheap cheerful way to start on recolourifying your world.

  14. Have never quite understood the no screens in windows, doors standing open with no storm door – ? No bugs?

    We have a cat who lives behind us who is always in our yard, garage, trying to get in a car or in the house. I can relate. He used to catch critters (and earn his trespassing rights), but now is too old.

  15. Hey Shauna, no idea how to get colour into your clothes (although as a bit of a geek I sometimes buy a t or 2 here: especially when they do their ‘mystery t’ thing every month or so. Although you might get all jet black…) however, fun with an evil cat is a loaded water pistol. They don’t like it, you have fun, and if you are lucky husbands can be innocently caught in the crossfire. All good.

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