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A very small shark bit my arm – Part 2

Get Well Soon

Shark postcard from the amazing Frances.

Continued from Part 1.

Mid-April
I went down to Edinburgh for the surgery. Here’s the painkiller-soaked version of events that I originally posted on the U&R forum. It was also the first time I used the voice dictation software so it’s a bit bonkers, but it captures the spirit of the moment!

I was prepping myself no, CRaPPING myself, on the way to Edinburgh as I’m not a big fan of horses no hospitals.

On Wednesday I had the nuclear medicine part. It went fine. They injected the isotopes then I had various scans. It was a bit claustrophobic inside the scanning machine so I borrowed a tricks from you guys, to go through the alphabet and name somebody awesome that I know for each letter. Andrea Alex Anne Angela and so on all the way Z. it made me teary happy and totally calm.

I checked into the 2nd hospital on Wednesday night.

I was in award at six. No. A ward of six. Women. One lady had caught a fish fork no no no. PUT A fish hook through her hand by accident and it got infected.

Another lady had been beaten by her own C a T. Not beaten, B I TT EN by her own cat. She was a bit crazy but really nice. She was showing Fish Hook Lady pictures of her dog, which was named beyonce.

I was nervous on the morning of the surgery. I told the anaesthetist and the nurses that, quote I’m crapping my pants right now unquote.

Beneath the test beneath… no. the anaesthetist replied, quote only an Australian could get away with saying that unquote.

Then he asked, why are you living in Scotland?

I said, because I’m hiding from the sun. But that didn’t work very well did it? Ha ha!

They all laughed kindly and next thing I was under.

When I woke up it was two and a half hours later. I couldn’t believe that it was over. I asked the recovery nurse if it was really over.

She said yes and that they didn’t have to do A skin graft after all! they managed to close up without it.

I kept saying over and over, is that true? Really?

And she said yes, and I just started crying like a real ugly cry honk honk honk.

Was so relieved and then my teeth chattered violently then I felt so so happy smiley.

I was worried I would say something stupid like when I was sedated for my wisdom teeth. The only thing that I said was when I overheard two nurses talking about a doctor who always writes snotty e-mails. I yelled to them, Well he sounds like a real fanny!

Waiting – Week 1
It’s good to be home. Arm is very sore and sleeping is awkward but I’m totally fine.

Went to the plastic surgery nurse in Inverness today. She took off all the dressing and bandages. My armpit looks pretty good, the scar will be neat! My wrist looks horrific. It was quite a shock. I have a very strong stomach; growing up on a farm you see a lot of boyfriends no no no. gory things!

This dictation thing is so funny.

Anyway the WOUND is gruesome! I thought I was totally cool and even kind of impressed, but then I stood up to leave and my stomach dropped and I nearly fainted. How embarrassing! The nurse made me lie down for a while. He he.

She said I need to keep my arm elevated for another two weeks to help with this swelling. Also dr said last week that biopsy results Will take A minimum of two weeks so that is nearly 1 week down.

I’m feeling calm and it’s not just the TRAMADOL. One step at a time, and as mother-in-law Mary said, be strong!

Continue to Part 3…

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About Shauna Reid

Ahoy there! I’m an author, copywriter and old school blogger. I love telling stories about life and helping my clients to tell theirs. Find out more about me and how we can work together.


28 thoughts on “A very small shark bit my arm – Part 2

  1. Love the postcard. Glad you are back to typing, though the dictation is amusing. It unnerves me that the doctors thought your mole was fine, fine, fine until YOU insisted they take it off. I know they were doing their best but it makes the whole thing feel a little more frightening when even the docs don’t know what the dangerous ones look like.

  2. Shauna, you’re a star for going all through that.

    I feel being strong is good-no use worrying over something you have no control over-but sometimes our emotions do need to be given an outlet especially in a frightening situation.

    You’ve brought home again how our health and well-being are so important.

    I believe we are the ones who are responsible for what goes on with our bodies and our lives.

    However, being human beings we all have our own foibles so it’s good to have people who give us a push when needed and support when necessary.

    Happy that you have people who got you to deal with your little biter (/blighter) and are there to support you before during and after.

    Thanks as always for sharing.

    oxo

    Kathy

  3. what – the dictation can’t pic up ‘cat’ but it recognises ‘beyonce’ – that is crazy – love your humour even during tough times – hope all is going well

  4. I keep up with your goings on from time to time- and I’m glad you caught it when you did! Scary stuff but your attitude is fabulous. Keep us posted! Sending positive happy vibes your way.

  5. Oh Shauna – trust you to describe such a scary situation in such a witty way. Crossing everything for you. I remember rocking up to my doc in London asking for a skin check and they were in shock. I had a scary moment with a mole last year – turns out not the big M but 25x rarer but benign. Phew.
    Tramadol is trippy stuff… Enjoy the ride…

  6. Aw Shauna, you’re so funny! Even with all the drama going on. I think another book is required! Take care my lovely xx.

  7. 😀 is still funny – I second the someone that proposed a second book. Written in dictation!

    So glad the story has a happy ending xxxxxx

  8. Shauna I am glad you had it checked out and it was dealt with. Thinking of you and wishing you a quick recovery and great follow up path reports!

  9. Shauna, you make me pee my pants, just a little, from laughing so much. How can you make surgery so funny? And melanoma removal surgery at that? So glad all is well. I too, was responsible for my Du going to the doctor to have his funny spot checked out. I kept telling him that it looked dangerous. And it was–so happy he and you caught it in time! Gareth is very wise–now you must always listen to him!

  10. I’m so glad you persisted, and that Gareth egged you on! And that it is gone. My cousin saw a tiny black dot inside his ear totally by accident (looking in the mirror & shaving) 3 years ago. It was a melanoma, they removed it, and there’s been no recurrence. Even had a full-body PET scan at one point to make sure. Like you, he made sure someone took it seriously.

    If you’re still in need of recovery TV, I recommend Orphan Black. (If you haven’t seen it, you can watch the first season on Amazon Prime w/a free trial.) badass clones! cute guys! (esp. in Season 2) funny as hell gay friend!

    (big fat passe internet hug to you!)

  11. Oh man, you’ve really been through the wringer! I feel guilty that all this time I was just laughing my ass off at your voice dictation dilemma, without realizing what a scary time this was for you. I’m so sorry about the giant wound, but I have a feeling it’s going to the subject of some hilarious posts in the future.

    xoxo!

  12. I’m really happy that you finally had this thing removed and are able to write funny stories about it. I’m not sure if I want to see a pic of your arm, though…

  13. Wow, chica, I’m so glad it’s turning out super well, but holy scary-ness. Thank you for sharing your story. As a biologist, I heartily approve of your small shark bite story. Esp. if you emphasize it was your fault for trying to pet it. =) Cute little sharky… (Aussis are famously brave re: sharks, right?)

    When I had to get an MRI of my head & was in that giant machine, to keep calm I pretended the sounds were techno music & I was in a club. =)

    Had a surgery 1 year ago (related to a fun & exciting cancer scare–btw all’s well), I remember the anesthesiologist asking me a series of questions, the last of which was, “Do you have any loose teeth?”

    I’m SO glad I didn’t figure out (at the time) why he asked me that. ‘Cause he was going to shove a tube down my throat & if I had loose teeth, it’d possibly knock one loose & scrape it down my throat. CREEPY.

    Last time I had surgery I was 3, so I suppose I’m super lucky to be this ignorant about normal surgery procedures. =) xoxoxo!

  14. Shauna– Yowza! Sounds like a bumpy road you have been on. Fingers crossed on the test results. And sending you patience and stamina and DISTRACTION. Do you need a good binge-watching series? If I recall correctly, you’ve hit on West Wing and Friday Night Lights already, right? Maybe The Americans–so good. I watched WW when I was in some health throes and making myself a little nuts with worry. The husband bought me the boxed set (pre-Netflix avail) and said I’m begging you to just watch then when you would otherwise be ruminating on scary health stuff or too much health sleuthing on internet. It really helped! I think you’re the funniest person I’ve met that I haven’t met if ya know what I’m saying. The world needs you in bang-up health. Hang in there.

  15. What a trouper!

    You’re a brave, brave soul, Shauna. 🙂 Hopefully after all of this, there won’t be any more bother with it! No more very small sharks ever again. But seriously, I think if it had been me and this is how my own brush with breast cancer had turned out (luckily mine was just what they call a breast mouse) I’d be panicking all over the place and probably vomiting all over the place with fear, too.

    Also, that dictation software is BRILLIANT. I love the idea of the woman being beaten by her cat much more than being bitten by her cat. (Apparently cat bites can turn fatally infectious?!) I got the best mental image from that. 🙂

    Hope you’re feeling better, and recovering well. <3

  16. “On a farm you see a lot of boyfriends”! I loved that line. I second everyone else sending this support and good wishes for your full recovery. And don’t forget your project to visit Argentina!

    Big hugs from here in Buenos Aires.xxxx

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