11 o’clock on a Saturday night. The house was quiet except for the possums scratching around inside the roof and the AM faintly rattling out of Mum’s clock radio. Suddenly I heard the sproing of the mattress as she vaulted out of her bed. “It’s Your Song!” she gasped. “It has to be! Your Song!” […]

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Every day my heart weeps for Orphan Annie. I watch her out the window each day and feel a little twinge of sympathy. She’s not the Orphan Annie, rather a uni student with similar hairstyle for whom I lack the imagination to coin a more original alias. The first time I saw her sprinting out […]

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My life is now complete, kiddies. I just saw the man who I’ve crushed on longer than Ed from Radiohead, longer than Mr Darcy, longer than The Cute Guy At Flight Centre. I’ve been fixated on this particular lad since the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Yes folks, I am of course talking about Russia’s finest son, […]

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So yesterday I did something really bloody stupid, which is not entirely uncharacteristic of me. I arrived at work half asleep, being Monday and all. I went to put my lunch in the fridge, and what a pathetic lunch it was. Our pantry had hit rock bottom so all I had were a few half-stale […]

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